Are you not entertained? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??

OK- let me try to entertain you

So, presentation today- actually did not go that badly- but hey, I have not seen the grade yet. . .BUT since she plowed into some people, even telling one to get a new dependent variable with the paper due in 2 weeks(!!!) it could have been worse. Onr thing about NancMat- she will let you know when you are not doing well.

In addition, I got 8, 7, and 8 on my last three assignments. . .sooooooo yee HA!

Precious is 8 YEARS OLD TODAY!!!

Cocoa is 6 YEARS OLD AS OF THURSDAY!!!

HANUKHAH is tonight!!!! Eeeeeeek!

Those who are about to die salute you

kind reader of the blog. . .

Tomorrow, I have to give the very first persentation for the stats class from hell. . .I will be attempting to set the bar low for my fellow students, there is a 9.3 degree of difficulty to this highly subjective move- but I have laid the groundwork, she LOATHES me. . .I think I can take the gold in this event. . .

Precious. . .

Precious will be sporting a new look soon. . . stay tuned!!!!

Guess I still have the B.A.M.F. going on. . .

My G-D, he is just DELICIOUS. . .to look at! I guess I have never gotten over my love of the bad ass mo fo type, ever since POTC came out, Johnny Depp's fault, LOVE the whole dark hair, eyeliner, tattooed bad ass!!!!!!

This is the keyboardist for my new music obsession-Nightwish- this band has singlehandedly gotten me through this stats class from hell!!!!

He is SOOOOO hot, very un Rainmomlike. . .but hey, I am only human. . .:)

When I'm feeling blue. . .

All I have to do, is take a look at you, then I am not so blue. . .I am thankful for the children I have, the life I have, no matter what:)

Happy Holidays from under the umbrella!

on a more positive note-

Most beautiful baby girl. . .almost 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trying to "get on with it"

So hard, with everything I have going. . .against me, I am really in a crappy place right now- hard to be there for my kids, hope I do not let Jen's kids down. . .parties to plan, and days to celebrate.

Spent the weekend hanging out with the kids and working on stats. Got the lit review and the initial analysis done for the paper, I am doing ordinal logistic regression, and my significance sucks, my brant test gives me this weird error message- and I am guessing it is just a rookie stata mistake that Nancmat will no doubt announce to the class should I venture to approach her about it. . .I just ran the mlogit. . .to hell with it.

Really quite liberating- no matter what I do, I am screwed, so why not kick up? Whooo Hoooo!

Perspective

Reading over this blog, I am amazed how whiny I can get. . .while it seems like a weird wayt o start out a post- well, here goes

One of Precious's best friends at school is a girl who has the most beautiful hair EVER. She is sweet, nice and a great kid. Her mom died Sunday-36, cancer, she had until Christmas but got pneumonia. So, my friend and fellow mom is gone, and I am whining about stats????

I know in a few weeks, I will slip back into whine mode- bitch about everthing and anything. . .and these kids, beautiful hair, and her sister who is Cocoa's best friend, will still be motherless. I am humbled.

I will miss you Jennifer. I will do what I can to make your girls feel better. Rest in peace.

I solemnly swear I am up to no good

So- The wrath of Rainmom unleashed this afternoon. . .solemnly

Let me explain, no, there is too much, let me sum up. . . Precious takes a bus to school, and I was taking him across the street to put him on- his aide who rides the bus with him stands up in the doorway of the bus and starts to "speak" however, I am not quite sure what she is saying, because she is speaking in a VERY disjointed way- it was kind of like she began the conversation before she got to my house, and I was some how supposed to figure out what I had missed. . .AND make a decision about something. . .at 7:55am and coffee free, not a good time.

I also gathered that she wanted to take my picture for some sort of project idea she had gotten from a seminar where A REAL LIVE AUTISTIC PERSON SPOKE. . .puleeeeezzzzze! This crap is getting old, my son is there 3 years now. . .and this is the best they can do? Grrrrrrr! I told her that the doorway to the school bus was really not an appropriate place for such a discussion, and bid her good day. . .

Never mind that she was in direct violation of FERPA, and that the curious parents of the school across the street we treated to a nice look into my son's supposed behavior problems. . . NEVER MIND that what works for one autistic person may not work with another, and NEVER MIND that my son is a person, NOT a diagnosis. . .perish the notion that he needs to have any kind of typical kid privacy. . .I am still so angry angry angry!!!!!

So, I stew all morning. . .and finally, it is time to pick Precious up from school. . .and I am UNLEASHED- laid it out for his actual teacher, who knew NOTHING AT ALL about her little plan of action, and I told him that I was BEYOND angry and that I really felt insulted as she seemed to really have no understanding of my son's rights. . .blah blah bitch bitch. . .so we shall see. . . RAINMOM MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are mothers allowed to despair?

"We have followed you thus far, you have not led us astray. Forgive me, I was wrong to despair" Legolas-LOTRTT

My recent life events have led to the above question- are mothers allowed to despair? In public? Is stoic despair, away from the prying eyes of others ok? Or are mothers the ultimate suck it up folks? Dads are excluded from the discussion based on the gender expectation default with has men limited to despair for the most innocuous of reasons, sports, work, ED etc.

Can mothers despair? Can they give up? Can they EVER throw up their hands and say FUCK IT!?

As someone who has had people in her life who committed suicide, I have been very confused as to how the despair a person feels could actually cause them to kill themselves. I have always been a "this too shall pass" kind of person.
A certain professor has made the level of despair I have ever felt up to this point seem like childhood folly. Autism dx was easier to handle than this woman's class- at least with autism, I had help, and Paris is a doll, no matter what. I seriously doubt that I can pass the class, and it will not be because I do not understand stats. She has crushed me at every turn, and has continued to humiliate me in class. . .and the thought of flunking this class and 1. leaving school, or 2. having to take it OVER makes me wonder, guiltily, if this is really all worth it. Not living, no, I am not planning to off myself, but whether or not I should even be in grad school. I am SO PISSED that my chance of continuing in school is hinged on this class. I am doing better than I ever thought I would. . .but it is such a bitter pill to have to swallow to realize that my improvement is not even basic compentency to her. I know my other stats classes were not up to her standards, but I have been doing well on the interpretation, just not the write ups, so the fact that I understand ordinal regressions is not evident, and I am not supposed to go to her with these basic problem/ things according to the syllabus, sigh. I do not feel like I can go to her for help, she sets off all these "get the fuck away from me, loser" vibes when she enters the room. . .woe is me. Despair. . .or is it? Am I allowed? Is the mom role ever going to allow that. . .especially for a mom who has sacrificed so much of her time that SHE should have been spending with her children!!?? Is there a Jewish equivlent to a patron saint for hopeless causes?? Hmmmm, must find out!

I know stats is an important thing, I am not saying she is not smart, she is very good at her work, and I would not ever say differently. I just do not get this hostility. Oh, well, I will have a long time to think about the lack of direction in my life if she flunks me, I am in despair, and it feels pretty shitty! I hope this too passes. . .and I do too, stats that is!

Fall pictures and One small show, one GIANT LEAP for Precious!

Some recent fall pictures, notice the costumes changed on Halloween. . .Unicorn, Ninja. . .sigh

About this weekend

Ok, the Wiggles show was ok, I mean as far as what they did, it was kind of cool. They are not the sickeningly sweet fake everything is great type of performers. . .they are not taking themselves too seriously, but they are REALLY good at working the crowd. . .and seem very genuine in how they interact with the kids.





BUT- THAT IS NOT THE BEST PART, that they did not suck is not the big news. . .and I have a new and spectacular reason for loving this group of men. . .Precious had THE. BEST. TIME. EVER!!!!!!!





I actually cried during the show, but not for the reason you may think. . .my son, the autistic kid, changed in front of me. . .he became a typical kid watching the Wiggles. And, when the rest of the kids around him, including Butter and Cocoa got up to dance. . .HE DID TOO!! I have this GLORIOUS video of him watching his sibilings and COPYING THEM!!!! WITHOUT BEING TOLD. . . .OMFG!!!!!!





I have NEVER been so in awe of conformity, and if you knew me, you would be impressed!





He had a great time, Rainmom cried, and all was good!





M

Some comments

About the letter in the paper- the usual crap, but ok here they are so far

>>This sounds like a good charitable cause. Rather than rely on government, it would be far more worthwhile to NOT INCREASE taxes to cover this burden, but rather CUT TAXES so that individuals have more power to direct their dollars to how they want to spend them. Today, too much tax money is spent on nonessentials -- everyone's wasteful wish list. We are a society of waste because people complaint they have to pay for this or that on their own. IF YOU WANT IT, PAY FOR IT. That way people have money left at the end of the day for what THEY DETERMINE is important to them.<<

And this

>>...and the budget fails to help in many other places as well. That can be an entire issue of the Press, so everybody write in what you want the money for. I'm sorry your special interest didn't make it passed this year's cuts; maybe next time.<<

To which I replied:
Hey clueless ones! If you actually read the letter, you would see that this proposal was NOT ASKING FOR TAXES, it was asking the health insurance industry to STOP disallowing EXPENSES for their insured children. Just as well baby/child exams, immunizations and screenings were all changed from uncovered to covered, insurance companies would cover the illness but not the shot to prevent it, that changed and this provision was actually meant to REMOVE the burden from Wisconsin tax payers and start requiring insurance companies to help families. . .right now, many insurance companies are not paying for the treatment. Mine does, so my son is not a "special cause worthy of tax dollars" and if you read the letter, and had accurate information you would have seen that the letter stated I was not including my son. . . Removing this item meant two things- Insurance companies could elect to NOT cover treatment, and shifted the costs to those on the state program. . .meaning I am paying the co pay on my son, the insurance premiums, AND taxes for those who have no insurance or who have insurance that doesn't cover costs who are on the state dole. So, ignorant ones, you who blather on about taxes- HE removed direct tax relief from the budget. . .so enjoy contining to pay for those that insurance companies are allowed by state law to REFUSE to cover:) You are all idiots or confused- you whine about taxes and then are unable to comprehend the contents of a short letter outlining the lost opportunity to lower the amount of tax dollars used when insurance companies should be covering these costs. Here's my wishlist you jags 1. I want all insurance companies to pay for all costs of care, and I want them to do it now- If they refuse, I want them to offer a good reason why. . .to the state, who will then decide if the reason is good enough. Get a clue and get mad, there may be a medical condition in your future that YOUR insurance will not pay for. . .<<

Such idiots!!!

Rainmom MAD!

So the letter got printed in the paper. . .

Yeah, ok- not trying to be a dork, but that is pretty much all I can do. . .or is it? For those of you who know me, and even those of you who e mail me wondering what is my deal. . .surely you must know that I have more to do with this, right? :)

Here is the thing, so many social changes have come with those advocating change not sure they could even change anything, in this case, I know I can, because things HAVE changed. I have children who had hundreds of dollars worth of shots, and thousands of dollars worth of medicine, and even more in uncovered doctor's expenses because of the short sightedness of the insurance industry. . .and I can use that to my advantage, for the cause of helping kids not as blessed as mine, a total bitch for a mom who would NOT sit still and "wait and see", and for those kids who cannot afford to wait. . .so, I am taking this torch up. . .stay tuned!

After MUCH careful consideration, I give to you. .

BUTTER PUP

DARTH MUFFIN
COCOA THE WICKED!!!

Stats is done. . .for now

and other than an alarming lack of association between my variables. . .all is well.

So, why am I grateful to the Wiggles? Long before the dreaded autism word was a part of our lives, I already knew something was wrong with the way Precious was acting. He was not speaking at all by the time he was 2, Cocoa was born, and the doctor thought he was just mad- but I knew. So, we finally figured out what was wrong-autism, and the thought of what was going to be, what was, and of course, what was not made life a pretty tough thing for awhile.

Precious was NEVER a sit and rock kid- he was a jump off the bed across the room kid, so days were exhausting, and stressful. Plus, as he grew, it became clear to him that WE did not get him, and we did not help him when he needed it, because we did not understand what he needed. . .so we, as a collective, were pretty stressed.

One day, in utter desperation, I turned on the TV, determined to sit for 5 minutes and mope- and Playhouse Disney was running a show I had never heard of- 4 adult men in pastel shirts(see above) dancing and singing about kids stuff (note to self, Google these freaks AT ONCE) I was about to turn it off. . .and Precious did the strangest thing- he started to dance and sing. . .SING the song after a few minutes of listening. . .I was horrified and ecstatic. . .most in awe of my child, in this moment, actually comprehending, and listening! Wow, indeed.

So, these years later, and he is still a big fan, mostly of Captain Feathersword. . .but the group as a whole continues to capture his full attention.

So, I am going to be FOREVER in debt to 4 Aussie men who defied gender stereotypes and made me aware of my son's potential. . .found out later that all 4 have education degrees and that many other developmentally delayed children have had a lot of progress using their music.

G'Day!!

Get ready to . . . . .WIGGLE!

Precious "getting down" with The Wiggles

Meeting Captain Feathersword!!!

Yep, next weekend, we are going to see The Wiggles!!!!!!!!!!!! Precious is sooooooo excited, and well, I am. . .er. . .EXCITED for him:)



Bluntly put, I have never been a big "kid specific" entertainment fan. Even when I was one, which I am beginning to doubt I ever was if today's childhood experience norm set to to be used to measure such things, I did not like costumed, made up characters, and CERTAINLY DID NOT WANT TO MEET ANY OF THEM. I would be such a freak today- even Butter, Mr. Practical, was thrilled when Optimus Prime phoned the house last week (I never said I would not arrange such kid activities for my babies) I never went to events like this as a child- no money and often they were held on Saturdays, which would leave me out.



So, I myself have never seen The Wiggles live- but Precious saw them just after bing dxed, and STILL had a great time. . .this summer we went to Six Flags, and he LOVED the "fake" show(see above)and he. . .sat for over 2 HOURS between shows so he could watch the show again!

Ok, so now you know my deep dark secret. . .I have no real appreciation for this kind of "entertainment". . .bad bad BAD Rainmom. I do have a reason why I will always be grateful to these people, this group- I will tell THAT story later. . .
M out

AN INEXCUSABLE OMISSION!

Introducing Kenzie Michele

Born August 31, 2007

My brother and his wife and 3 daughters are all well.

I am now a foremother. . .tradition and superstition be darned!!!!

A Letter to the Editor

Submitted this morning. . .

The Wisconsin budget. Sigh, what a mess. Buried under the new taxes and the perks for the usual suspects, the absence of the provision that would have required insurance companies to pay for therapy for autistic children like mine was not really discernable. However, families like mine felt the loss deeply.One of the first things that echos in the mind of parents as they struggle with the initial diagnosis of autism is the hope that therapy provides. The hope attached to the intensive expensive therapy required cannot be underestimated. This treatment is one large piece of solving the puzzle, and while my son is one of the fortunate ones, it is the shoving aside of the many parents and children who are in desperate need for this help, and the ones who have yet to be diagnosised that saddens me. This jettisoned provision was important, and it would have helped many parents in their struggle to help their children deal with autism.

My happy place lately

Anyplace these people are is my happy place:)

I cannot WAIT for this semester to be OVER!

Stats is still a thorn in my side- that WOMAN is not to be satisfied. . .and while I respect the fact that she deems it unnecessary to PRETEND to like me. . .I would have appreciated, at the very least, a lack of OPEN HOSTILITY! Sigh.


However bad it gets, I have to tell you, my Precious gave me the BEST early b-day present EVER. . .

Precious: Mommy, where ARE you?
Me: Right here.
Precious: Come HERE Mommy, I NEED YOU!
Me(running): Are you ok?(slight panic)
Precious: Hug and kiss Please Mommy?
Me:kisses and hugs aplenty
Precious: I love you, Mommy

Pure BLISS!!!!! My Precious told me he loves me!

Me: heart wells, so do tears:)

Rainmom makes it rain. . .

And now, a word about school

Ok, stats is going better- finally understand Stata and have been doing well on the outputs. So, cool.

However, a long standing, transAtlantic feud is now home to roost, and it is getting beyond pathetic.

I shall explain- Bck in 2005, an instructor I have know since undergrad(which for me is 2002) was having a party at her "estate." When I got the e mailed invitation and saw who was invited, I assumed I was invited in error, and deleted the message. This instructor approached me in the hall and was insistant that I should attend. I scrambled to make arrangements for childcare, feeling QUITE important and daydreaming about the supposed status as "promising doctoral student" ready to be feted around. . .and was CRUSHED and HUMILIATED beyond belief when I arrived at the estate. . .dressed for the party. . .and told I would be serving the drinks, thus saving said instructor A TON OF MONEY(so she said) and well, I heard I was thanked during some conversation, I did not hear it, as I was dealing with a red wine spill in the sunroom(honest to G-D, I was!!!!!) wow, what a night. So, I hung out with the caterers, got asked to serve at another function (complete with business card) and cried myself home. . .not a penny offered, even for gas!

So, the relationship was a bit strained. . .at least on my end. She asked me to code some data for her as an overload, since I had a 50% appointment already, because she was off to England(hence the trans Atlantic), she apparently was unhappy with my refusal to work MORE than the 10 extra hours. . .and was rather put out. I did not realize HOW put out until this week- when I saw her between classes, and she did not return my greeting-despite having seen me. . .no big deal, but YESTERDAY was so ridiculous. . .I had to see another prof down the hall from her, walked by her office twice, the second time, while I was passing, she SLAMMED the door as I went by looking right at me!

Alllllllllrighty then, I guess I will not be asked back to serve at HER estate again- which, of course, cuts me sooooooo deep. . .NOT!

Good thing I no longer need her for my committee, bet she thinks I do, but I do not! I hope:)

Sigh, I could have used the serving experience, in case this whole doctoral thing doesn't work out!

Normal Parents FEAR US

See?? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071016/ap_on_he_me/autism_video

Sigh-when is a child not a normal child? When you frame them in the "BEWARE your CHILD COULD BE AUTISTIC" dynamic!

So, watch the video, but if you have kids in the "high risk age group" 12-24 months. . .watch at your own risk. . .autism could be lurking around the corner!

Ok, that is pretty bitter, I am having horrible day, and this video is so sad! This is why-

QUESTION OF THE DAY
How do you tell the difference between intense concentration in a child, and autism spectrum behavior?

ANSWER- It is the question between big picture and individual behaviors. Big picture- Precious had a TON of behaviors that made me realize very early that he was autistic- it was not just intense concentration skills- it is the sum of the parts of the development, not slices of autistic behavior and oooops, AUTISM GOT YA!

The definition of the situation is also important- if you are looking for autistic behavior, chance are you will find it. . .within the context of "looking for signs", where it gets iffy is when these behaviors are not put into the context of "normal development" and are seen as proof of autism, instead of part of the child's total self.

Parents, there are SO many things that go into the diagnosis- do not freak out if your child has a few of the "signs". . .
M

One unsung hero. . .until now

Casey The fearless

What was THAT??

So, I have to be honest at this point- I was wrong about this dog. Let me explain, I did not want another dog. We had a dog for 12 year-Ladyhawke. She died, and I was in NO hurry to get a new one. It was too much work- too much hurt if G-d forbid something goes wrong. But Butter would not let it go. He kept up with the constant pleas, so I decided to get this issue done with once and for all. I went to the pound thinking there would be no dogs available. 3 HUGE rooms full of dogs to choose from. Sigh. So, one whole room had to be avoided because the dogs were pretty kid unfriendly. So, went to the kid friendly dog room- and a massive barking session began- all the doge were going nuts. . .except a little black lab looking pup. Who sat straight up, looking right at me, as if to say "what TOOK you so long???" So, got her out for a look- and despite all my efforts, I LIKED HER. Sigh.

So, the DEAL BREAKER, I took Precious to see her. The pound lady told me that 2 other families had been in since yesterday, but that Casey had jumped all over them, and they took a pass on her. So, I am thinking- deal breaker. Except what happened next sealed the deal. Casey came out, and took one look at Precious, and headed straight for him. Sat right in front of him and waited. Precious pretended not to see her. . .for awhile, then he held out his hand slowly, and Casey waited, until it got close, licked it very gently and waited. Precious bent over to pet her, and she nuzzled him- did I mention she was a 7 month old PUPPY??

I got her the next week- and the next day a new therapist started, and Precious was not interested in working with her and started to cry-Casey pushed the door open and stood in front of Precious barking and growling until I said it was ok, after I had checked everything out.

This morning, I was wrecked after staying up too late working on Stats- and woke up late, well, later than usual. I did not hear Precious and ran to his room- Casey was there already-in his bed his arms wrapped around her and she was alert and waiting for me. Once I told her I had him, she trotted off to play with Cocoa and Butter.

I am sorry that I did not want her at first, she has made such a difference in our lives. I actually referred to myself as "mommy" to her the other night- I NEVER did that before. Sigh. I am hooked, I am officially a dog person.

SO, what do YOU think Autistic parenting is supposed to be like!! Hmmm??

Ok, so fair enough, if I am calling out other autistic moms, I should be able to provide an example of what it should be like, right? Wrong! I do not suppose to say that mine is the definitive way to do this, autism, in my opinion, the ultimate social construction, and no autistic parent should be feeling obligated to follow any of my leads. . .I do not consider them leads- they are paths I have taken. Nothing more, nothing less- the way I have led my son to his current state, may not, and perhaps should not be used as The Rosetta stone- Autism whisperer, puleeze!

My problem with the whole "spotlight on famous moms who have autistic kids" is such- in these articles, and the way they were written, it seems like autism is something that can be cured (not proven yet) can be caused by shots (disproved as recently as 2004) and that diet changes can eliminate the problem (again, not a cure some kids who showed improvement with the gluten/sugar free diet have regressed)

The diet thing drives me nuts because some kids have the over stimulation issue so intensely that they literally cannot eat food- there are 7 year olds like Precious who drink ensure/formula and some baby food because they cannot tolerate to swallow anything else. There are 7 year olds, 10 year olds, 3 year olds who are on tube feeding because they cannot swallow at all.

All that I know is that seeing Rainman and reading about these 2 specific kids will not ever fully lead to comprehensive understanding about autism, because these kids with this condition are still individuals, and what works for some will not work in others. . .at no time did I ever mean to say that I alone was the voice of the autistic mom- and I will not let celebrities do that either, simply because you have some sort of fame doesn't mean you are less mortal. . .right?

So, more to come, as I have more to say on the subject. . .for sure!

One of those lives

Leaves!!!!!!!!!
Raking is still fun:)
Hard work!

The Three Leafers
Precious not happy to be shopping!

Total smackdown of the therapy supervisor yesterday- found out she is not liking my hour mongering. . .I want Precious to have all the hours he can get. . .as he goes post intensive after the new year! So, I had the NERVE to comment to her supervisor that I felt she was shorting him hours, because she was not happy with my frequent questions about why he is so low. . .oh oh, I would hate to be her tomorrow, as I had words with the man about her attitude in general and he stated that she was having the same problems with her other moms. . .hmmmm

So, stats class is totally kicking my ass. Not from any real lack of understanding, just for having to deal with the instructor- I guess I have just been so spoiled by the ones I have had in the past. My committee for my Master's was top rate, and I got spoiled by their like of students and teaching. . .sigh! I am rusty, I have been trying to review, especially logistic regressions, but she has no tolerance for my rather "remedial" questions. . .we sha see if my Ordinal regression is up to par, wonder if I do well. . .will she think I had help? Too funny as some of the class is e mailing ME for help!

So, other than that we are holding it together- I have selected my doctoral chair- Amanda will be doing the honors! As Ann and I have parted ways, well, not that I am grieving, Amanda is the best choice!

So far

KIA- Wisdom teeth out, but still KIA-healing but whinny!
Precious had his first. full. day. EVER! AT SCHOOL-8-3 AND did great! He has no therapy 1 day a week, so he goes to school all day on that day! I am happy. Prince NO pal has been MIA and that is JUST fine. After our last go around, and her new letter of reprimand in her folder/vita courtesy of me (which I have a copy of) she has not deigned to mess about in the affairs of this Rainmom Dragon! :)

Cocoa is well, Butter too- Beloved is already struggling with his math. . .tutors are already in play, must be a record or something!

My school- story for another time!

More self congratulations for another "It Mom"

Crap. Crap. Crap.

I have no other words to use for what is about to hit the stands. . .ohhhh, Jenny McCarthy's kid has. AUTISM.

Words like "devastating" and "wreck" and "no more kids" and "autism whisper" "Jim Carrey" and how hard it was/is/will always be to have autism boy saddled to her. . .he made Daddy go away, because he made her sad and obsessed with "curing him"

Worse than Holly Robinson Peete [who served as McCarthy's spiritual advisor infamous for her "I had to have more kids so his twin (to her autistic son) was not saddled with autism boy". . .ouch- Mommy needs you as a caretaker for said autism boy after she croaks, niiiiiiice legacy!] this Jenny freak gave her kid any drugs she heard would cure this, and has made the declaration that "there is a special place in heaven for mothers of autistic kids" and that she will be buying drinks for them. . . as a Jew I will not have to worry about refusing the drink. . .us Jewish autistic mothers will be in hell. . .oh, wait, that is where she thinks autistic moms are already. . .

I am stunned at her selfish and negative tone- she only gets "happy" when he improves. . .what if he stops improving? Back to depression and the sad realization that her engineered boobs will not make her happy?

The worst part? She had herself on a waiting list to get STATE FUNDING! Miss movie/tv star and Playboy herself. . .when she found out about the waiting list? She mortgaged her house. . .she was unable to get her boob job money back. . .sigh the burden of stardom, money for ta tas, not for therapy!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. She gives us so much to undo. . .how long before mothers of more profoundly autistic children are faulted for not doing enough to "cure" their kids- especially those STILL on that waiting list?

The first "week"

KIA ROCKS!!!
COCOA SCOLDS

Ok- so Precious is off to a stellar school year!! I am SOOO happy to have him back in school, he is doing so well! Behavior is so good, and I want it to stay that way!

Ordered KIA's senior pictures. . .the studio is GREAT!!! He looks so old and mature, and well, handsome. . .such a nice packet of pictures too.

Butter is doing really well in his classroom- it is always fun when he learns something new. . .he is so anxious to share it.

Cocoa is loving her new all day school schedule, and her teacher has already commented on how considerate and tough she is at the same time. . .too true

Beloved bear is slowly settling into his new routine, last year of middle school and he is all set to enjoy a year of BMOC status. . .until freshman year of high school!!!

The SAHM/EOTH Mom- Enemies?

On another blog the age old question. . .the SAHM vs. Employed outside the home Mom- The war continues

Ok, I have done both, and each one has +- yeh /nay. . .where are YOU on the spectum?

Yeh SAHM- Who has the kids? YOU DO! End of story. The absence of having the "back up plan" in case of illness, school closings and rained out play cannot EVER be OVERvalued! The majority of my working life now revolves around how/who/when/how long the kids are gonna be in need of care I cannot provide personally. Gottenyu!
Nay SAHM- The underlying notions that for whatever reason you cannot hack it in the "real world" unless you have a good reason for being home, I did, I have an autistic kid, you are somehow slacker/idiot material, ESPECIALLY if you attend any of your partner work functions. You are not even worthy of SMALL TALK!

Yeh EOTH Mom- The respect and self esteem that a job can bring, career or no. Even my part time work was the best at times, the people I helped were so appreciative, unlike certain others, and it was a chunk of time away from the house, which was starting to get quiet and untidy. I hated housework, still do.

Nay EOTH Mom- The feelings/comments/contradictions/conundrums/baggage/drek that comes with all the balancing/juggling/struggling/improvising that comes with trying to do, oh, I mean have it all. . .oh you have it all right. . .up until you stagger to bed. The innuendos that crop up when you relate a trial or tribulation that befalls you. . .and you were not on the scene at the time, the unasked question "well, where were YOU when this was going on?" And the ease you shift guilt, real or imaginary, to yourself, the default usual suspect!

So, why the war? What's the problem?

Well, if I had to I guess why we felt the need to judge moms like us and find them lacking, I would have to fall back on my "because once you become a mom you are judged" judge as ye are also judged rationale. We need to tear down those who challange our self esteem, and find faults. Too artificial, too plastic, those fit moms with their perfect bods, clothes nails. . .those moms do not look like they were EVER lived in!! The house of looking glass selfs, I guess.

I also think that if I really thought about it hard enough, I would be asking the question "where is dad?" In my life, dad is not judged the same as mom- I think my husband would pass out if he knew all that I do in a day all while working outside the home. It never occurs to me while ripping on "Bratz mom" and calling her names, that maybe I should sit Daddy Dearest down and demand his time and effort around the house and the children. He who has no clue when Precious was last tested and what his progress was at that time. No idea what classes KIA is taking this year, what colleges he is applying to. . .

To be fair, the moms I am jealous of show a self that may not be entirely authentic. They may have a new outfit because their way of coping with isolation and being lonely is shopping. They may have a doting mother who sends them money, they may be able to stay at home because they lost their life partner in a horrible way and were able to secure some financial security- I may never know, will never know, because I am too busy judging them and myself, and finding myself lacking for my inability to fall intothe stereotype, listen to the right music and be the right kind of mom.I am lucky, my kids seem to like the mom I am, and I guess at the end of the day, when I take my shower :), that is really what is important!

M

End of Summer SIGH

Well, tomorrow tears it- back we all go to school. I am underwhelmed by the prospect, especially since this will be my first school year as the official single mother of 5 school aged kids. . .no help for anyone, yeah, like that is new in this scenario!

With no family near ever, well, some dead, some disinterested, it has always been with a tad more than a scoop of envy that I hear others talk about their moms and grandparents who pitch in with childcare, transportation, and such. Having NEVER had that, I admit it, jealous!

However, I know myself enough to know that I am really particular about how I parent my kids- remembering how much my older kids were doted on to the extreme, by my now dead family members z"l. . .well, let's just say I have have alienated them until they left in disgust, thus leaving me as I am now- alone, stressed out and devoid of any stomach lining due to ulcers!

School for Precious is going to be ROUGH. His therapy schedule was way off- I cannot wait to post the goods on the whole operation, but I have laundry to do before I get to bed.

Cocoa was complaining of a stomach ache before bed. . .hope it is just the jitters. . . took the kids to the lake this morning- swam a bit, until the smell and the fear of e coli drove me away. The yellow jackets also helped my decision as did Precious and his "want the car please, Mama"

Oh, and I am an aunt again! My sister in law had here baby on Friday morning- 4 weeks early, but 5# 7oz baby girl. . .Kenzie, sigh, cutie!!

No picturese yet, will post ASAP!

M

A GLARING absence!!

This is one of the sweetest kids I have ever known- he puts up with a KIA, and Precious, and Butter and Cocoa. . .and me.

I had a GREAT time with you this summer- you make the best eggs ever. Love you and thanks for all the help and fun!

To be fair to KIA

He is really very helpful and sweet. . .I should give him props for all that he DID do this summer, and I will.

KIA, thanks so much for everything. Have a great senior year. . .in spite of yourself!

Summer fun:)

Precious
Butter
Cocoa

We are NOT ready to leave the umbrella and go back to school. . .not even Rainmom!

Moping and creative

Sing this to Bon Jovi's Dead or Alive

It's all the same, only the semesters change
Everyday it seems job stability's wasting away
Another place where the faces are so cold
I have drive all night just to pay for my home
Chorus:
I'm an adjunct, semester to semester do I survive
I'm working dead or alive
Working dead or alive
Sometimes i sleep, sometimes it's not for days
And the tenured faculty i meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the classes that you teach
And times when you're all alone all you do is think
Chorus
I'm and adjunct, semester to semester do I survive
I'm working, dead or alive
Working, Working, dead or alive
I walk these streets, a loaded briefcase on my back
I play for keeps, 'cause i might not be asked back
I been everywhere, still I'm whoring my skills out
I've seen a million faces an I've taught them all
I'm an adjunct, in an Elantra do I ride
I'm teaching dead or alive
I'm an adjunct, I got no one on my side
Still teaching dead or alive
Teaching dead or alive

KIA- Can you leave for college a year early??

Ok, now I know that I cannot be the only parent who has reached the point where the KIA child is Waaaaaay too tragically hip to be tolerated. Meaning that my 17 year old is now in the "this is my last year of hs, I want to enjoy it" mode, and by "enjoying" it he means do NOTHING but hang out, no job, no chores, just good times. As I was raised in a family where hard work and earning things was MANDATORY, we are just not seeing eye to eye on this. In one breath he starts to complain that he has no money to do anything and in the next he is too busy to work. . .ummmmm, yeah, way to go my son of many contradictions. Combine that with a mother who has not had a pay check in 2 months and who is not had the summer off. . .and you get sparks!

I want, I need I have to have this that the other thing. . .what the hell? I have no idea where this privileged indulgence driven persona came from, but I did not raise this little bundle of raw consumerism! I am not a Marxist, but I am pretty immune to the whole "buy your way to good parenting". . .and it is REALLY a leap for me to say "but of COURSE you need the bling case for your mp3 player. . . I was young once too" Feh!

Now his big thing is Marquette http://www.mu.edu/. He wants to go to Law School there. . .ooooooook, better get on that job search, I can put in a good word for you where I worked, see if I can do ya a solid and create the mother son Crew at the West side MD's. . .sigh, maybe adjuncting is not so bad, it just pays crummy and the people treat you like you are the crew member at the Mc Donald's of Higher Ed. Too funny!

So, I know myself well enough to ensure that he will survive his senior year, and that I will be packing his things to go to college. . .starting tomorrow. I have to have SOMETHING to look forward to! :)

Why adjuncting SUCKS

Ok, so first day back to campus, classes start on Wed. I am teaching 3 back to back Intro to Sociology classes starting at 9am 3xs a week. I have been doing this for over a year, well a year and a semester.

My evaluations from the department and the students have been above the norm in both content, presentation, and well the "interesting" scale is also earing good reviews.

So, I go to my "office" if you can call a desk I share with 8 other "instructors" an office and lo- there is now a 1990 version of a compac monitor, and the Dell flat screen monitor is gone. Also, to complete the ensemble, a 1990 keyboard, complete with appropriate stain/crud build up is now where I am suppose to work.

I ask if the "regular" computer that was in the office before was being fixed, and I was told that this was the "new" adjunct computer because there were a lot of "full time" people who started over the summer. . .WTF????

Even better, there are now several more FILE CABNETS in this small office. . .so I can now say that I am in storage when I have office hours! Just last spring, I was so sure that I was making a mark at this place. . .yet I am now pretty sure that I am expected to deal with whatever I get, and not ask for too much as an adjunct. . .whoa! Grrrrrrr! Whoa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NYC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Had an amazing time of it. . .these pictures explained below. . .taken in Times Square

But, apart from missing my kids terribly!! I had a great time! I was all over that island, and even found a pair of work shoes on 5th avenue for 45 dollars, my one splurge! The 6 were spoiled rotton, got them kippahs and such from the Museum of Jewish heritage http://www.mjhnyc.org/index.htm and also saw Chicago on Broadway for 25 bucks, a rush ticket. Saw Ground Zero, which was really important to me. . .

I was 7 months pregnant with my daughter on 9-11-01, and I remember where I was and what I was doing when I heard about it. I was born on the 7th anniversary of JFK's death/murder, and my whole life many people would tell me where they were when they heard the president was dead. . .I had that experience on 9-11. I will always remember that day, and seeing all of the confusion and fear on the faces of the people they talked to in the aftermath- the way my heart sank and my hands went to my stomach when I watched both buildings fall, the need to get my kids- the only Jews in school- home early from school for a snack and a talk about what was going on. The grim realization that because of our contacts in Israel, we knew now how they really felt when they survived an attack. . .and the way my now 17 year old son went to football practice that night, because he was not going to stop living.

So, these many years later, I was reminded at that moment how much had changed and how much had stayed the same- so it was very nice to get there and close the circle.

One last rant- you myspace people already know this- the subway was SOOOOOO COOL!!!! As a full time commuter. . .ewwwww, I loved the system, and had no problems going on the subway at any time day or night. There was a smell and an EWWWWW factor, but not a OMGIAMGONNADIE factor! Love public transportation, still think that London Underground is the best one around. . .

See above for NYC's finest and me clowning around

A break from the inane and insane

My babies! Precious is a HUGE Wiggles Fan http://www.thewiggles.com/ While this is not the "real" Captain Feathersword. . .it was close enough!

Also appearing here- the aforementioned 17 year old know it all. . .and the Cocoa and Butter children- Cocoa being the girl!

Some questions answered

Is your name Ema?

No, it is Hebrew for Mother' Eeeeeeema! See it is so phonetic!

How many kids are under the umbrella?
6 total

How many boys how many girls?
5 boys and a girl
The girl is the youngest

Did you have so many kids to "get the girl"?

Not in the way usually thought- it is a religious obligation to have one of each sex- according to Hillel, also, one for each of the 6 million Jews killed in the Shoah.

What is it like to have an autistic kid?
Ummmm, good? Nice? Great? It sucks? Not really sure how to answer this one. . .

A crossroad

So, the career- I need one

I know in my heart I can never leave sociology and be happy, and if I am going to be doing this for 50 years. . .I need it to be happy work- so what are my options?

Thanks to Laura, I can probably make it through this time, and get to where I want to be, but NYC was so hard. No other time has affected me, I felt so at home with all the sociologists, and had so amazing times. . .and for the first time the ache really took hold you know, the ache? That feeling like "if only. . ." and the blanks fill in themselves! In my case, if only my life were different, oh and if only the guilt of saying that did not STING! I love my life, my kids, by this feeling of being with a group, or even in a program that accepts my life's work as worthy. . .well it was opiate to this student:)

Sigh, I cannot wait until Boston 2008!

Em

So it begins

Alrighty then. . .so the drama is SOOO the story today

I have a high school senior this year. . .male, 17, and of COURSE he knows it ALL. . .which makes my life so much easier, since, well, you know, I do not have to educate him, or continue to prepare him for college life or ANYTHING. He knows he knows!

Sigh, and I thought Precious would be my most challenging. . .what with that princi-nopal at his school. . .

The last thing in the world I want to do right now is to deal with that woman, but hey, I did not post the history. . .wait until you hear. . .

OK, so Precious is all ready for kindergarten, MAINSTREAMED even, and I want to get him registered. In trying to be a good proactive advocate for my autistic kid. . .I contact the school trying to arrange a meeting to discuss the challenges and rewards to have a child like my Precious in the school. . .and the princi-nopal will not give me the papers! She says it is because she has not been told "for sure" he will be there, which, as an informed parent, I know is a lie. SO, of course, I check to make sure she is a lying ykw. . .and contact the superintendent. I explain that her actions could be construed as a violation of the ADA, and that I feel that this matter should be handled right away. . .and lo and behold, I get the papers.

She continues to impede his progress, and remains out of the loop yet trying to dictate to those of us in the loop, which I resist. The next 2 years are a series of inconsequential confrontations that end with me throwing down her lack of follow thorough and commitment to his academic success in "her" school- which sounds bitchy, but I say it much better than that, it actually sounded sweet. . .if you don't know me that is;)

So, he is in first grade this past year, and it hit the fan- she has no idea what it takes to alter the schedule of an autistic kid AND keep him behaving in school- she messes with me royally and we have it out face to face with the superintendent. . .and I make her cry. . .not with joy. Long story, short conclusion. . .she has agreed to back off. He is going into 2nd grade now, and we will see what happens. . .so tired of the drama, but willing to go and bring it when necessary!

How the hell does an "educator" look at herself after treating a child like she does my Precious? Bitch notwithstanding. . .after all, I am A BITCH, but I have STANDARDS! Sheesh!

Holy Crap! I'm in NYC!!!

Here to talk to people who find the mundane fascinating! Yay, people like me!!!!!!!!! Acutually, I am looking to enlighten the populace about constructing Autistic parenthood. . .whoooooHoooooo!

So, I will be posting as I can, and I will be sure to let you know how the presentation goes!!!

Tilting the amusing windmill. . . .

Alllllrighty then. As the Rainmom, I am supposed to be impervious to the pressures associated with the cultural expectations of parenting. I am SUPPOSED to be immune to the notions that consuming goods and services in the realm of "summer vacay". . .Sadly, not.

I have become temporarily insane and decided that what I really want to do is take Precious and the non autistic sibs to Six Flags. . .yeah, I know.

This insanity has me taking them tomorrow, staying overnight, and returning home. . .and leaving for the ASA in NYC on Thursday, where I will be presenting AND moderating a session.

I will save you the trouble, I will call myself crazy! So, I will update if I survive the Iron Rainmom event!

Em

School daze

Ok, now is registration season- and I remember how hard it always is to get the papers I need for my autism boy from his school. . .hmmmm

The powers that think they be at his school believe that all kids with special needs should be in special classes. . .and lobby very hard to get their way. . .only thing is, I am too much of a stubborn bitch to allow anyone but me make decisions for my child, so it has been non stop confrontations for the 3 years he has been at the school . . .and we gear up again!!

Back is better- kids are squirrely, and I am DREADING the start of the school year- my baby is a SENIOR this year. . .damn that went so fast!

Later!

Autism unawareness

Ok, so, maybe this is not an autism thing- maybe all parents with special needs kids get this deal- the "how can you manage to work/have fun/go places/be normal with an autistic kid?" look.

Today when we were at the store- the "wow, he looks so NORMAL" and the "you just cannot tell he is retarded" comments were busted out again. . .GRRRRRRRRRR.

OK, the back is sore, the bitchy moon is in the that time of the month house, AND it was just me and Precious. . .soooooooo

HE IS NOT RETARDED! AUTISM DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN BRAIN DAMAGE! I would appreciate it if you would NOT refer to him that way because whil he is autistic, he is NOT DEAF! GOOD DAY!!!!!!

I know that dumb asses are all over the place, but puleeeeze, ignorance can only be an excuse for so long. . .especially with autism being the chi chi ailment now. . .

Because She was a genius!!!!

Miss ya Erma!

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids. Erma Bombeck

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. Erma Bombeck

I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex. Erma Bombeck

Worst. Pain. EVER!

The bad back. . .I will never joke about it again!

It has often been written that to be a mom means no time off. . .no vacations, no sick days, and yes, we smile wry grins and keep on going. Until we break something. So, on the mend, but OMG what a forenight!

So, sensing weakness in the Rainmom- the darlings decide to have a bit of fun pushing the enevelope. . .and paid accordingly. Like when I hobbled up the steps to the 17 year old darling's room, after being told it was clean before he went to YET another function to find the Dead Marshes in my house, complete with dead clothing (ripped, dirty, not put away). . .score 1 week of hard labor under my watchful eye starting today. He is in the garage ostensibly doing the "prep" work for the big clean. . .yeah

My frustration with my son's autism therapy program is getting worse, and yesterday with the final straw. Long story short- the new regime wants warm bodies, not quality therapists, so the current "warm body" on my son's team is an umm, UNDERMOTIVATED to the point of catatonia human, with Zero initiative. When I am backon my feet, the fur will fly. . .a (Lack of)Progress review at the end of this month will be BIG FUN for my senior therapist! NOT!

I will explain the rise and fall of the best autism program ever next, but for now, I leave you with this, it works, even for Jews:) ;

The Special Mother by Erma Bombeck
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over EarthSelecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger."Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.""Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.""Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a handicapped child."The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy.""Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel.""But does she have the patience?" asks the angel."I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off she'll handle it.""I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of it's own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy.""But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word.She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life Because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.""And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Tao of the broken back

Ok, so some of you have been letting me know that the number of posts has increased- yep, it is time again for my back to be out of service-same time as last year!

So, as I wage war on the intense spasms of the back muscles I still have. . .I have had a lot of time to think about things some ramblings. . .

white/off white walls are REALLY boring!

I will be painting before summer is over

It is REALLY hard to raise kids home for the summer while in pain!

Top 10 reasons autism is like fame

One of my friends, who is also an autistic mom, says that having an autistic kid in her small town is like having a movie star life. People stare, point, say really terrible things in full view of child and "normal" sibs. . .you know, all the things the elegantly wasted glitterati complain about. . .no privacy. . .intrusion on life, well, you get the point.

Of course, I understand completely. . .so I have found it therapeutic to make fun of all things painful! So, here is the list!

10. All the offensive close ups! I will NEVER be ready for my close up, Mr. Deville!
9. Having to answer the same old "what's it like" questions as in what's it like to have a brain damaged kid? what's it like raising a retarded kid(that was from someone I THOUGHT I knew) What is autism like? Does he count good? Is he good at cards? GROAN!
8. The annoying habit of people speaking very loudly and "properly" to my son. He is autistic, not deaf!
7. The awe inspiring power of revealing your "celebrity status" of being an autistic mom. That is SO chic! Where can I get MY autistic kid?
6. The default assumption that you are the perfect parent, and can help all "normal" parents appreciate their normal kids. And that leads to the constant requests for advice. If it comes close to working for an autistic kid, think what my kid will do with it! Kind of like the whole ecocelebrity thing. . .Johnny Depp RECYCLES, OOOOOOOOOOH we should too!!!!!!
5. Invoking the autistic savant of the day. . . and having your child compared to that person. I heard Moses was autistic. . .does your son have that Moshe like quality for leadership? EEEEEEK!
4. Having to constantly dodge the opportunity to comment like a Rabbi/Maven on all things autistic- Holly Robinson Peete be damned!
3. Having your past scrutinized to discover your sins. . .for the common good of finding the "secret" behind autism. i e. She has a FREAKISH interest in Sociology. . .and since all of the great sociologists from Simmel to Goffman were all on the autism spectrum. . .hmmmmmm
2. The cult like status that goes with the label- and the possible damage done by missteps. . .Holly Robinson Peete!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

And the number 1 reason-

The pain involved when autism shuffles off the public radar and no longer merits research interest! So, I will miss it when it's gone and resent it while it's here!

Sigh

Struggle continues- Letter to the not so superintendent

I am at a loss to express my profound disappointment that you missed the scheduled meeting today. I am very frustrated by this situation, and this missed meeting certainly did nothing to resolve anything, quite the opposite.

My husband and I were at the at 4:25pm, and left shortly before 5pm. The meeting time was 4:30pm.

I am expecting you to contact me tomorrow to reschedule.

{Rainmom}

The New Year Rings in. . .

Hello again,

My name is {Rainmom} and I have written to you a few times about my son. Once again, I would like to tell you how wonderful my son has been doing at his school. I am so proud of him and the progress he has made.

Although I had worried how the summer lag would affect his behavior last fall, he surprised me at how willingly and eagerly he began his studies. His new teachers have brought out the best in my son, along with the other members of his educational team. They have all done a remarkable job, and I could not be more pleased and supportive of their efforts on my son's behalf.

Sadly, the relationship between my husband and I and the current principal of his school has not improved. In fact, events in the past 2 days have actually brought further deterioration of that already shaky relationship. This person continues to treat my husband and I with an utter lack of respect, and has been very inappropriate in her conduct. We are both in agreement that her conduct needs to be brought to your attention, and some sort of understanding reached.

We are not going to remove our child from the loving and supportive environment he is now in, we do not feel that would be fair. However, we also no longer want to be subjected to the unprofessional and rude treatment of the current principal.

I am asking that my husband and I be allowed to create a chain of contact, in lieu of face to face contact with this individual from this point forward. She has made it very clear that she is not interested in respecting us, and our concern for our son's special needs. While we have been contemplating our options under the ADA as well as FERPA, neither one of us wants to act without giving the district a chance to work with us. We feel we have ample support for a formal complaint against this person, a pattern of behavior that goes beyond the events of the past 2 days. Yet, we want what is best for our son, and what is best for him is his continued path, at this school, with the great people he has come to love. It is not about anything beyond that.

I wish to meet with you this week, and discuss plans that can make the rest of his school years at this school uneventful and happy. It is in his best interest for us to come to an understanding with this person, and to create the framework that will allow for communication as well as respect for our status as parents.

I look forward to hearing from you or your representative to set up a meeting.

Sincerely,

{Rainmom}

Dear Holly,

Can I call you Holly? Like I need your permission! Just wanted to clear up a few things after reading your "courageous" story in People. . .puleeeeze, how hard is it to be "courageous" in your position? Chatting with other celebs about damaged kids and damaged plans, blaming autism on the MMR vaccine? Oy, what drek!!!!!

As vomitous as it was to slog through your story, I have to say that one of the most egregious aspects of your "coping with having an autistic child" was your statement about having more children in 0rder to deal with the burden of having him! Thank you would put into print the ludicrous belief that by having MORE kids you would be ensuring a lifetime of care for your autistic child shows a shocking lack of forward thinking and trust in the progress you child can make! To assert that you were not going to burden his twin with his care in his adult life and that you somehow believe that by having MORE children will ease or erase your responsibility to him after your death is jaw dropping! You are an actress, your husband pulls down a lot as a former NFL player, it is YOUR responsibility to make sure your son has care,a place to live, and money. . .not your children, and certainly not social welfare programs. Let the single moms and the working poor use that money for their kids, ok, Holly, old pal? Buddy?

You give autistic moms a REALLY bad name. . .and I for one am not willing to be associated with your X files conspiracy theory for the cause of autism (my son was symptomatic WELL before this immunization). . .what a load of crap you have shoveled into a national magazine. . .gag! I can just imagine the shaking heads, the clucking tongues, and the sighs of "she is so brave. . ." You have nannies, private schools, and affluence. . .some autistic parents have NONE of that- some autistic dads have to work 2 or 3 jobs to support their families, because there is no daycare for their special child. . .but yet, YOU are the brave one. . . ick!

So, Holly, I will have to say that far from brave, I think you are an absolute whiner and a pity party in your honor must surely be held every month to remind us non affluent autistic parents of how brave parents act. . .better go jump on my husband now. . .start the process of making little caregivers for my little angel. . .oy! Whine on Holly!