Top 10 reasons to not like Barbara's book

10. The assumption that there is a "F U" moment in the life of someone like me working these jobs, and those she studied who were on the job. Her complete cluelessness about the connection between the way we live our lives and the gratitude we have for jobs bugs me. I have been working for pay since I was 10 years old, outside of the home, babysitting not included. I picked fruit, and did odd jobs on farms and also cleaned houses and hotels and truck stops from the time I was 10, and this doesn't include caring for my own house or my siblings or sick parents. People like me, who have had to contribute to the family wages do not look at jobs that pay money with the same disdain she does, to assume we are looking for the moment we can leave friends and coworkers like she did in Florida to stick to the corporation made me mad. Real relationships grow from these jobs, and the connection is strong, and is very important. As long as we are grateful for the work, we will do the jobs, and not have the time or energy to wax poetic about the day we can tell the job to go screw.
9. Her refusal to go without a car. OMG what a huge piece of the puzzle that is! You want to really understand the mechanics of trying to live a life in a world that runs on cars without one. . .or a household with more than one working adult and only 1 car and different shifts to keep kids out of daycare. . .holy crap she's too good to go without a car, single and no kids???
8. Her total cave on the heath care issue. In the midst of her skin rash emergency, she quickly activated her Master status of upper middle class and cured herself pronto. Sorry Babs- keeping it real is not about calling your DERMATOLOGIST in Florida for help. . .just saying
7. The fact she did not attempt to understand her coworkers more by interacting with them- no mention of coffee dates, or any other kind of weekend activity, her time off was spent alone. . .and in the real world, we wage workers actually hang out and socialize, and dare I say BOND? The book may have reflected a much more nuanced perspective if she had actually looked at the lives OUTSIDE of work.
6. The pity. Most of us are strong, with the trials and tribulations that led to us being seen as downtrodden nickled and dimed maids, servers and retail workers making us shun anyone who is fake or imagines they are schooling us in the way the real world works. Holly is not the way she is because she's in Maine, she is that way because only someone who has a life and upbringing like she did will be in a position to be pregnant, sick and bullied by her husband to get to work anyway. There is a LIFESTYLE to those of us who have these jobs, and THAT is what you should be looking at. . .
5. Her weakness, despite her belief that she is strong. She caved at the first sign of trouble- skin allergy, her tips not making rent, and that is something that could have led to an in with her coworkers. . .asking for help, seeing her in need would have possibly introduced her to a whole new facet of how we live. . .one that I know quite well. . .
4. That George's fate is unknown.
3. That after she comes to the conclusion that Holly is pregnant and near starvation. . .she tries to lead a revolt that could get them fired- wow REALLY? Based on her departure from Florida, I can only imagine what would have happened if Holly had lost her job because Babs got her to stand up to Ted. Should they be earning more? Sure- can they go without wages while waiting for that raise? HELL to the no!
2. Not many of the people I worked with allotted themselves with downtime, and many showed a lot of initiative when it came to job seeking. . .the complaint she had in Maine about how it was too late to go job hunting after hours did not ring true, and also, many of us network amongst ourselves for family members and friends- who knows better about gigs in the realm of wage workers that us? Her assumption that we are closed off from the world around us was a huge downfall in my opinion.
1. The premise of the book did not match up with her actions. She wanted to understand us. . .but not quite be one of us, and when things went down, well we looked stupid. The exchange with Holly is most illustrative of this disconnect. . .Holly, in her inflections and the description of her by Barbara, is not educated, asks to have words spelled for her, and by extension, her refusal to risk her job to follow someone she doesn't know(and who is working under her authority, remember Holly was a team leader) is perceived as. . .stupid. Barbara doesn't describe a world she studied, she editorializes it, and the workers are sometimes found wanting and dealt with harshly for their refusal to SEE things THE WAY THEY ARE in REAL LIFE. . .Barbara, these people were not playing, and you never ever got that. . .it is your main flaw, you treated them like lab experiments after a certain point. . .because you could I guess. . .

Another amazing day!

Had another amazing day today:)

Did the lawn, and got 3 of the boys hair cuts. . .sooooo cool to have that done in time for the start of summer:)

Went to the beach after lunch and enjoyed the fresh cool breezes and the awesome time together. Then home for our Sunday cook out complete with burgers, dogs and smores. . .what an awesome day!

Just one day to recover then finish school and plan a 12th birthday for Butter:)

At World's End. . .

Someday I am SO gonna have someone special to share this with, LOUD and PROUD. . .I swear it!

Proud Owner of a new certificate. . .

Most AMAZING day!

Because sometimes a crappy job

Can make you a rock star to your kids!

Why I don't like the book-Overview

So- have been asked to elaborate on why I do not like THE book. . .and ok- to be honest and fair it is not really that much about methodology per se. . .don't get me wrong, it is pretty bad and drives me nuts as a scholar. . .
HOWEVER
That is not my real issue with this book. . .where to start, hmmmm
How about the premise? I was really surprised and well, kind of shocked by her approach to this research. The idea of dabbling into the world that I have occupied for the majority of my life kind of unnerved me. . .this idea that to understand poor people you had to pretend to be like them smacked of elitism that made me kind of feel defensive from the start. . .I felt the line in the sand between my white trash brethren and myself and her side. . .and that is probably the last thing in the world she planned- but her interaction/confrontation in Maine with the Maids illustrates that disconnect. I use Holly as an example- she is maybe in the early stages of pregnancy, and when she confided in Barbara that her husband made her go to work despite being dizzy and sick. . .do you really think it is just low wages that these workers have to deal with? It is ONE PART of the lives of people not getting by, and you know what? We have a totally different perspective about our jobs. . .one you totally cannot and do not understand. The work stoppage to get Holly to stop working? Really?? Like George in Key West, the Maids of Maine were going to have to live their lives as you saw them, for the foreseeable future. . .in that world you visited, the one I live my life in, you are the clueless one, but you wrote the book, so it is only YOUR perspective that counts. Never mind George, or Holly, or Melissa, or any of the others you met. . .and the diverse circumstances that brought them to work at Wal Mart, Maids or Jerry's. . .and that drove me nuts.
I will elaborate chapter by chapter later, gotta get babies off to school and get some sleep:)

For the Gentle man

From the place I asked for you, a morning like no other, it is this morning, the one I shared with you. . .

Good morning. . .

Where eagles, angels and Barbara fear to tread. . .

So, in looking at the past month, and remembering a certain book and how freaking mad it made me then- I decided to dust off that book and wow had forgotten just how many of the details of why I was so angered by her book.
First- research methodology. . .I know she's not an academic any more than Faludi is, but wow, it is just so glaring this far into my research at how flawed her book is, yet how many people tout it as research. . .
Second- her reliance on fast food and her refusal to work in it. I so would love to see what would happen if she actually stood a post with me at the Arches. . .or how I would be written about in her notes. . .what would my story be, hmmmm. . .and how would she fare if she had to live a life like mine? Kids, childcare, and all things mother related. . .would so like her to just try to live my life for a day.
Third- her conclusions, to this DAY years after reading it for the first time, that make me mad, specifically her assertion that by walking out of Jerry's in the middle of her "perfect storm" was not a major mistake, quite the opposite, she contends that she did a great job despite her age and severe overqualification for the jobs she took. . .to this day it irks me to think about being her coworker and having to deal with the fallout that would possibly affect business. . .but knowing what I know about the service industry, I am sure that all would have been forgiven and forgotten in time, the whole place being in chaos and she bails.
So feel an open letter coming on, but I hear babies ready to get up and get to school, and then mom gets to sleep:)

Cooking out on a Beautiful Afternoon/evening

Being Silly

Fired up!

Chillaxing

So cute:)

Next week- CHICKEN! BBQ and marinated!

Living life and loving

Yes the shots are blurry, but Gentle Man did the best he could from the floor with complete jerks all up in our faces. . .I had a chill amaing time ant Korn and almost got into a fight at Nickelback. . hmmmm. . .;)

Hmmmmmm

Somewhere between these looks is the look I need for Nickelback. . .hmmmmmm

Foot steps. . .

Love the first strawberries of the season over angelfood cake and bit of hot fudge sauce for the kids. . .

In the middle of a 4 day run 10pm-4am and really feeling the weight of it all. No break since I am only working 6 hours, and I can't use the bathroom when there is less than an hour left on my shift! So, I have to make it to the bathroom by 3am or wait until I get home. . .but @ 3am, the breakfast menu starts and the regulars start lining up, so it gets busy. . .sigh

Have Friday and Saturday off, then back on for 4 days. . .ahhh sleep and fun:)

ok, ok OK. . .Random facts

Bowing to the pressure from several e mailed sources, here are 10 totally random facts about me-
10. I was on track to be a dancer until an untimely hockey related injury ended my dance career. . .open compound fracture of the left tibia, fibia AND femur. . .look up what an open fracture is. . .
9. I love to window shop
8. Pink is my favorite color
7. Popcorn is my favorite snack, milk chocolate my favorite dessert
6. The worst childhood memory is of being homeless- first living in the car for 2 years, then living on the street while pregnant with my oldest. . .not having a bed is the worst you would think, but to this DAY I would never ever frown on having a floor to sleep on, no blankets, as long as it is indoors, period, end of discussion. Indoors is GOLD.
5. I cannot function if I can't have music in my life every day.
4. I gave all my kids 2 middle names to make both sides of the family happy- which is what my family did. . .
3. My total guilty pleasure is the au jus that is the cheesy romantic male gesture of smoothing the hair away from the face of the tragic heroine. . .post cancer HAIR has been the thing and wow, that gesture melts me. . .
2. I am flirting with a red meat free life. . .but my oncologist and internist are harshing. . .
1. I am realizing that I have a lot more to me than I ever knew. . .

Pavement of our lives