Watching Precious grow and move beyond his own little world is amazing, nothing short of a miracle. He is doing well, and is just such a character. Love to just watch him grow and go- out and beyond every day he defies stereotypes and proves there is a real person inside every.single.day.
Doing what I can for him especially over the last year, has been a learning process for me as well. Over the past few months, I have tried to move beyond my limitations and doubts and fears and all of the negative crap- tried to approach new friends with being more open and accepting, and hoping for the same.
It was a huge mistake in so many ways in so many situations.
I was not prepared to not get funding, because I was so trying to be positive, and not stress. Forgot my own rule- always remember worst case scenario. . .
I was trying to reach out to people for help, understanding and hoping so much that I could once and for all forget about shame and focus on just getting on with life. That was not to be either.
Wanted to let new people in, did not anticipate that they would bring more stress and pain to a life that had already seen its share.
So tired of this- just want things to go right, and maybe just maybe a day, just ONE DAY with a little peace of mind at the end of it, rather than the lying awake and wondering how and if I am gonna make it through another day of this life.
Glad to be alive, just wish I could have some peace of mind is all.
Pity party over-move along nothing to see here. . .
2 comments:
The people you brought in I am sure.....No-I KNOW-did not anticipate bringing more stress and pain into your life as well, and I am sure whatever happened that they regret it more than you would and could ever possibly imagine and they are so sorry for the pain. Maybe some day you will let them into the sanctum again after things have settled in place, and they can make up for it SOMEHOW. Maybe,....Hopefully,.... Someday. Because I am sure they are dying inside because of causing you any grief. They only wanted to aleviate yours, but things became complicatingly sour in their own life, and messed things up. No more worries OK. Rest easy and assured-no more worries from this end. You are constantly on my mind and in my heart.
A lost Friend
The people you brought in I am sure.....No-I KNOW-did not anticipate bringing more stress and pain into your life as well, and I am sure whatever happened that they regret it more than you would and could ever possibly imagine and they are so sorry for the pain. Maybe some day you will let them into the sanctum again after things have settled in place, and they can make up for it SOMEHOW. Maybe,....Hopefully,.... Someday. Because I am sure they are dying inside because of causing you any grief. They only wanted to aleviate yours, but things became complicatingly sour in their own life, and messed things up. No more worries OK. Rest easy and assured-no more worries from this end. You are constantly on my mind and in my heart.
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