The other side of the 60s

So- in conversations and in e mails, and in hate mail and in all sorts of ways, some people have been asking me, in various forms, and with vast differences in approach and content-

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU THIS ELECTION?????????

I wish there was another way of explaining this to people- but there is not- the answers my friends, are blowing in the winds of change- so here is the 'reason'

I am a 2nd generation American on my dad's side. His mother came here at 17, and my dad was the first son of the family born in America, and was the model assimilated American. . . to a degree, he was very committed to being a good Jew, but to be a good American, was a key goal, and my siblings and I were raised with that reverence and respect for this country held by people like my dad.

Also, with that experience, my Savta had first hand memories of pogroms, violence against Jews in her homeland, the Ukraine and those stories were not science fiction, not in a galaxy far far away, they were my family's recent history. Google Jews in the Ukraine. . .if you dare.

My dad grew up on the other side of the 60s- the side that so many people tend to revile almost automatically, and demonize as well. My dad fought 2 tours, voluntarily, in Viet Nam as a proud member of the USMC. He learned English, he worked hard, he taught my siblings and I about hard work, sacrifice, hard knocks, and the importance of freedom for all, even those who disagreed with you, but also was thankful for the protection of those rights for everyone, even Jews like his family. Such a far cry from the stereotype Jew ala Seinfeld or Crystal, Spielberg. . .my dad's life story is the stuff Spielberg would write about. . .if he knew about it.

Anyhow-

He taught me to be honest, generous, and he did all of this despite the havoc his mental condition wreaked on our family life. I used to concentrate on all of the things he did wrong, this election showed me what he did right. He stood up for what he believed in, he did not care what people said about him, as long as it was the truth, and his ENTIRE life was spent trying to do his country proud, because he appreciated what a great place America is and was- despite the flaws, and imperfections.

So, to this election- I had really had about enough. I had been encouraged early on to pursue a degree in Sociology by a few of my professors. I thought it would be a great field to explore as well as one that would be open to a vast diversity of ideas and members. Multiculturalism was a very intriguing idea, and I thought that after a lifetime spent in search of an environment where a Midwest born, observant, intermarried, Zionist Jewish mother with the goal of tikkun olam, repairing the world, I had finally found a place where I belonged. . .

Not-

Quite the opposite. My gender was still an issue, when the biggest slacker in my cohort was excused from open house for his D.J. gig and I was told that my "lack of child care was not a valid reason for avoiding my contractual obligations" (yes, Laura, I am STILL bitter- even more so!) I knew that this was not really a brave new world I was entering.

When people would come to me and say "I just do not know HOW you do it" and when they would see that I did better in classes than they did, and mutter to each other about how I was getting breaks for being a mom- when people would look at me and say "well, if YOU can do this school thing, I sure can" and say it often, well, I knew I was still in the same old same old. . .

My religion was not REALLY problem. . .my observance kind of was (most, if not all workshops, conferences, forums etc. held on Saturdays) and well the Zionism? Huge problem. . .unless I was willing to "admit that Israel was to blame". . .which I was not ( I do not buy the "victim hood" status of Hamas and Hiz b' Alla) and so on.

I was shocked at the situation I entered- realized that in order to survive I would have to pretty much keep things like my belief certain things on the down low. And for the most part it was pretty easy to do that, as nothing really got me too angry. . .until the election 2008 disaster.

I will say this right off- I do not give a SHIT what you think about Palin as PERSON. . . NO ONE has the right to do what was done to this woman in this election, period.

What ever do I mean??? This is what I MEAN- the mass e mailed lies and invented "breaking news" the use of the word cunt, the hanging of her effigy from a house, the sexist questions about her clothes, her motherhood issues. . .and the worst? That academics I know and who I sat with in classes, that routinely bemoan the lack of substance or research in their students papers were at the HEAD OF THE PACK on this. . .and it was a real eye opener. That you disagreed with her POLITICALLY was one thing, and there were many debates that could have kept it civil, and on task- but that is not how it went, and the cheering jeering mob attacks on her family, including a Down Syndrome infant were the epitome of hypocracy and an epiphany of sorts. I had assumed that I was an equal in the cohort, in the field, even if I disagreed. It was a shock to discover that equality may have been a myth all along for people like me. . .I will not join a movement to "turn the tables" on a group of people demonized for decades, I will not join the witch hunt.

The kicker- If Obama was in a class of mine, and he handed in his C.V. for grad school and it looked like his campaign- he would not have gone anywhere, period. There would have been no chance in hell of getting into school, of any kind, yet he got the presidency. No transcripts, no LSATS, no previous writing samples, nothing for admission to a college, no way would he get a spot in a freshman class, or a job anywhere. . . .except the Oval Office. After 8 years of attacking someone for being a "stupid, clueless evil monster" we have now elected an intellectual enigma. . .the man behind the curtain remains to be seen, but his friends are sure scary to this Jewish mom. The concentration camp nightmares I had as a child have returned- only now, my children and I are there. . .and I face my greatest fear- the "I do not know WHAT I would have done during the Shoah" question comes to my dreams every night for answers. Nightmares of my father. . .and his family. I am unsure why this has happened, maybe the blind faith and the complete lack of reality checks about Obama- and the behavior of some of his supporters, the questions about his ties to Ayers, secert talks with Hamas, and his weak support of Israel. . .who knows? It is there now- these dreams of being with my children in the camps, and the terror that wakes me up night after night. . .

In addition, his relationships with Ayers and Wright, and the way that people asking questions about his record were wantonly labeled "racist" was a deal killer. The label of "racist" is a stigma of the most vile kind when used as a way of shutting down a debate or discussion. . .this is what happened to me this election.

I was raised by parents on the other side of the 60s, and this election revealed the cracks in the facade of "tolerance"- screw tolerance. From now on, I want equality and acceptance, even if you do not approve of me. I have the right to be who I am, as much as anyone.

That is what happened to me this election- I stopped pretending that it was ok for me to be tolerated- it is time for acceptance. If that is what this election was supposed to be about, that should be no problem. . .as I have vowed to accept the results of this election, period.

So, long story long, but maybe the hate mail will stop. . .now that I have explained it all.