Dear Cocoa

So, as you are about to celebrate another birthday, I wanted to take a moment and talk about this last election.

Right now, giddy people are breaking their arms patting themselves on the back about what this "means" for certain social issues, and that is their right. I voted for the person who I thought would be the best president, I did not vote as some sort of statement on how "far" we have come on anything. . .but I digress.

See, Cocoa, there were 2 women in this race, on both sides, and the fact that their experiences are ignored shows that we did not really get that "far" at all. And while I will not rain on the referendum on race/election. . .I have to tell you this;

Already, at this age, you are so willful, and you want to help people. You have a temper, you have a toughness, and you have so many of the traits I have as well, and well, this world has not really changed for you in this election, it has actually taken a huge step backwards.

We elected the Senator who pays his female employees 78% of what he pays his male employees, not the one who pays them equally.

We demonized and vilified a woman in the most personal and appalling way, calling her a cunt, which is a really horrible name to call a woman, I'll have to tell you about that someday, I guess, because this election made it ok to use such terms about a woman who leads a state, but the wrong kind of state, too backward, and THAT made it ok to call her that word, and many women made up tee shirts in order to get the word out, they e mailed fabricated "breaking news" and refused to retract any of them, and drew the line between a woman's right to freely choose, and her right to choose correctly

This election made it ok to question women about their gendered lives, using patriarcial rules and made questions about "how they could possibly do it all AND lead" and "can you lead when you should be home with your Down Syndrome child" acceptable again. This election saw the return of the weaker sex negative stereotype, the empty headed blue collar woman stereotype, and the complete and utter open season on women who want to define themselves while seeking paths of leadership in the political realm. And it was aided and abetted by the very same people that see this election as some sort of moral victory. . .ironic, this sounds a lot like business as usual than change, must be a different KIND of change . . . .

So, Cocoa, as you get older and older, and as I have to tell you more and more about how you will be evaluated 'differently,' paid differently and how your personality, and face it, your socialization at my hands will make you the kind of woman who will be SAVAGED because of that toughness I am teaching you, I will continue to try to make this a world in which we, as a society, put aside gender inequality and truly become egalitarian. . .for all, even us, the November Women.

So, Cocoa, we have a long fight ahead of us, I'll go first, ok?