Thursday, July 30, 2009

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Magic and Amazement. . .

At the butterfly house
Precious

Bedtime Stories


On the Ferry- Butter



Cocoa's first Ferry ride. . .:)




What a Vacation!

Here is where we went. . .and what an amazing time. . .

The place we stayed was NOT as bad as I thought, but not as good as I was hoping, but in the end it did not matter. . .because we had a great time!

We spent a TON of time on the island, rode the ferry over, which Precious LOVED. . .and ate a ton of fudge. . .oy!

It was the perfect way to spend time together, and the place I stayed made it easy to tuck the kids in and relax on the porch with my thoughts. . .and a glass of wine. . .very very cool.

One of the coolest places we went was here, and if you get the chance to go. . .DO IT:)

Other than some rain. . .which was really no big deal, we had a perfect time, lazer light shows @ dusk, water fun, and walks on the beach together. . .

But I am glad to be back. . .and so are the kids. . .

Monday, July 27, 2009

HOME!

Safe and sound. . .blog about all later. . .:)

To weird for under the umbrella. . .so

http://politicallyincorrectcheatingdiscuss.blogspot.com/

is the place to gleefully autopsy my marriage, divorce and life after the fact. . .

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Why it happened. . .it had nothing to do with you


Your dad and I were married for a long time, and I can honestly tell you that I love him- he was one of my best friends, and I would not have had you without him. . .but


I can also tell you that I tried so hard to keep Dad and I together- but he just did not want to stay with me- he found someone else to be with and no matter how hard I tried, he would not stay. I had only so much to give, but when you dad asked me to allow him the time to see if his new relationship was the "real thing" and wait for him to stop being confused, I had no choice but to say no, and he left.


I did not expect him to leave you behind with me. . .I never thought he would do that, and when he left you with one of the women he met on the Internet on the 4th- I am sorry, but I had to make sure you were not used in such a way EVER again.


I am sure you will understand someday, and maybe, just maybe, he will wake up some day and realize what he has lost. . .and try to get it back. I cannot promise you that he will, but age and time have a way of making things more clear, and all I can do is to try to keep the door open for you all. . .so that if you do want to make any relationship with him, you can.


Am I angry? VERY very much so- but only at him, not you all. I have been proud to be your mom, I will continue to be proud, single mom or married. . .


Love you all. . .

Reflections on a failed marriage and a new family

Michigan Coast- July 2009



Dear Kids-



Soon, we will have some closure on the family situation- that is, we will be ending family life as you knew it, and move on to a new phase of our lives, a new family way.



We have talked over and over about how this is going to look- we really cannot be sure how this is going to work, and so many other factors beyond our control will have an impact- in short, a TON of unanswered questions. . .BUT



I DO have things to tell you, things that I can be 100% totally sure of,



I LOVE YOU ALL- and nothing at all will change that!



Older boys- I AM GOING TO BE FINE! There is no need to worry, you are who you are because I raised you to be strong and independent, because I am. . .there is no need to change any of your plans and you NEED to go and live your lives. . . Just like I am



Also- WE ARE GOING TO BE JUST FINE. . .totally fine. . .not a thing to worry about in that, I can get us through anything- even this, and I will.



In the coming weeks, I will post the process that led us to this point- so you understand how this all played out, how we got to this time, this place, and why we are going to now build a new family. . .



But for now- I love you, I will get you through this, and we will be just fine- Trust me.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

In the past 24 hours. . .

I have had to deal with-

screaming meltdown fit from hell from Precious

e mail from new department outlining why I may not get funding for Spring. . .pesky little therapy schedule for autistic son!

Sent troubled son. . .that would be the legal definition of troubled- complete with court dates- off to boot camp in hopes of "turning his life around" and "learning good decision making skills" and all sorts of other wonderful things. . .

Wondering if I should cancel the vacay if I do have to give up funding. . .

logging on to my oasis Facebook. . .to find crowing and hooting about songs for infants that include lyrics about "white men" making moms leave children alone and eating the feet off people. . .What the hell?

Seriously? Was today necessary?

Raising Satan

As the mother of the most politically INCORRECT beings, white men that is, I continue to struggle with the reflexive and automatic de facto prejudice and personal attacks on my sons every day. . .from people who claim they want "diversity" and "equality" no less. . .it can be very disheartening to say the least.

The worst part? It seems this could actually become the DEFAULT setting on the world view in my sons lifetime! $%#@ white men! Hold THEM back- Keep THEM out. . .and the new world order, one predicated on tolerance and acceptance. . .cannot cheer loud enough for this new world order. . .with the tacit "GIVE THEM A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE" wafting from the fray, how hypocritical and false these situation make diversity seem!


My children do not need a taste of any medicine, and as human beings they have the right to their successes, and to their pride. As their mother, I will continue to take exception to the blanket "men are evil" crap and meet it head on. . .you have been warned. Stereotypes, prejudices and discrimination. . .all wrong, all the time. . .when used to decide who should be included and who should be excluded. . .

All hail, wise people of all colors and genders. . .lay off my children, haters!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Mondays. . .


I have been keeping a log of my "child care duties and routines" and thought today was a very good example of why I am always tired,

8am- Snuggle time is over. . .Precious wants his breakfast! Time to get everyone up and fed
8:30am- Dance class for Mom
9:30am- Cocoa's playground group
11am- Butter's swimming lessons
11:30am- Pick up Cocoa
11:45am- Pick up Butter
Noon- Lunch
1pm- Swimming Lessons for Cocoa, Butter's Playground group
1:45pm- pick up Cocoa, supper prep
4pm- pick up Butter work on scholarship
5:30pm- Tennis Cocoa
6pm- Supper
6:45pm- Pick up Cocoa, drop Butter off for tennis
8pm- Pick up Butter
9pm Showers and bedtime routines- stories and medication
10pm ish- Dog walking, stuffed TOC, and dissertation proposal, some reading. . .maybe TV. . .but not usually TV. . .
Midnightish- Lights out for mom, sooner if the book holds little interest for a tired mom, later if the book proves interesting. . .or if I hit on an idea for the proposal. . .
Precious opted out of Camp this morning, so he is riding along with me on the Summer Activity Shuttle. . .
Night night. . .love bedtime!
Sigh, gotta go get Cocoa!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Expecting this. . .


Sigh. . .

Hoping for this. . .


For our vacation. . .but for the price.. . .??? NOT holding my breath!


Thoughts on Vacation

This is what I am picturing for us- charming and cure, small and cozy. . .me and the kids all snug in a quaint little cottage. . .

Reflections on a summer so far


So far, summer has been, for the most part, going as planned. Busy days for the kids, Precious at summer camp, Cocoa and Butter in many different activities during the week, and weekends that have been very very mellow.
We are gearing up for our vacay, coming very soon- many MANY changes to the house in the next few days, exchange student going home, Muffin off to camp- and KIA probably moving out before next semester. . .many many changes.
But for today, some homemade ice cream, a trip to the lakeshore, and some fun in the sun are on schedule. . .

Friday, July 10, 2009

Tacky

I mean really- is it stereotypical for the French leader to be oogling. . .maybe, but I suppose I just expect more dignified behavior from leaders. . .it just seems tacky to not be able to turn off the oogle reflex. . .on official business. . .

Thursday, July 9, 2009

You may ask yourself. . .How did it come to this?


The Days have gone down in the West. . .and guess who gets the night shift? Yup- primary parent. . .ONLY parent for the foreseeable future. . . with the father ship sailing off into the horizon. . .the S.S. Midlife Crisis has left port. . .of parts and time unknown.
I hate being right! I hate being able to read people when they are oh so convinced they have me fooled. . .and above all, I HATE what this is doing to my children!


My poor kids. . .


Damn

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Amon Hen

Yeeeah. . .so about this whole not so hypothetical mess. . .what we HAD here WAS a failure to communicate. . .no longer. . .now we have a nice little battle of who is having the busiest life. . .and in the interest of FULL disclosure. . .I will post my summer schedule, since it is eaiser than my fall/winter/spring one,

Cocoa
9:30-11:30 play group
1-1:40pm swimming
Mondays- Tennis @ 5:30pm

Butter

11am-11:40am swimming
1-4pm play ground
Fridays- field trips
Tennis Mondays 6:45pm-8pm

Precious

8am-3 camp
3:30pm-5pm therapy MTW

Misc.
Cleaning/laundry
work
sleep
pay bills
grocery shopping
bedtime routines
and other mundane tasks. . .PLUS
Some sort of exercise
dog/pet care

I guess mine is not that bad, it just feels worse than it is I guess.

Monday, July 6, 2009

An ANGRY hypothetical

Ok- say you are a parent that has logged precious little time with your children in almost a year, and you have the opportunity to spend part of a day with them.

You leave the special needs child with his mother because he is sure to "not like the parade"and take off with 2 of the others. . .for a day of bonding happy togetherness.

Remember one of your children has asthma and both are under the age of 12. You venture to the shore of a huge body of water to watch boat races. . .and realize you have a pressing appointment at 1pm. . .and it is 12:45pmish.

What do you do?

A. You call the other parent and have them come and get the kids.
B. You forget about your appointment and enjoy the day with the kids.
or
C. You LEAVE THE KIDS WITH A TOTAL STRANGER AND INFORM THE OTHER PARENT AS YOU ARE DRIVING AWAY FROM THEM!

Guess which option their father chose this weekend?

That's right, in order to get to this EVER so important meeting. . .he left my daughter and son with a woman he met at the water. . .they bonded when she asked HIM to watch her kid while she went to the bathroom! ANYONE who would look at him and think "hey, he could watch the kids" is an utter fool.

Un beFUCKINGlivable! That's right, in this day and age, he trusts my children, MY CHILDREN with someone he did not even know. . .and well, needless to say. . .we are going to have to have some formal ground rules set. . .and if he is not going to follow the Golden Parental rule. . .NO LEAVING CHILDREN WITH STRANGERS EVER. . .we are going to have issues! While I understand he may be setting up his "well if I am SO INCOMPETENT, I will not even TAKE them ANYMORE" defense, I do not care, better they not spend time with someone so freaking selfish that he would leave them with some stranger to fulfil his "obligations" to himself. . .yep, that's right, it WAS a booty call he was answering!

The best part? When I raced over there to get them? She was SMOKING RIGHT NEXT TO MY DAUGHTER WHO HAS BEEN HOSPITALIZED NOT ONCE, not TWICE, not THREE times, but FOUR TIMES with attacks that damn near killed her!

So- there it is. I married someone who, when caught between parenting and his own needs, chose his own needs. . .and left his children in a possibly dangerous situation to attend to his selfish nature. AND MY EDUCATION IS SELFISH????

Hell to the no.

Damn, totally did not really see this coming, but damn.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

4th of July. . .awesome!!!!!!!!!

Butter. . .back in action. . .albeit slow and careful action

Ummm, you want me to do what??? Precious says. . .NOT!!
As cheerful as she is beautiful- my Cocoa!


Water toy. . .



Awesomest water toy!
And a staycation was had by all! In trying to reserve as much money as possible for our vacay. . .we stayed under the umbrella all weekend and had a great time!
We made S'mores, and homemade ice cream. . .spent so much time outdoors the kids were fully and totally exhausted after the fireworks last night. . .after showers to wash the sand off- as we wnt to the beach to see the show, it was almost Midnight by the time they were all asleep. . .we stayed close to home today, in order to reserve our energy for the coming week. . .MORE swimming lessons, Butter advanced to the next level in swimming, and another huge week at camp for Precious. . .with Cocoa at playground group and swimming as well, and MORE tennis lessons. . .for Butter and Cocoa. . .whew, it is tiring just to write the schedule:)
Happy 4th to all. . .:)




Friday, July 3, 2009

We have a man down


Butter vs. Slide= Emergency visit to the doctor, X- rays, ice, and a LOT of cuddle love and reassurance. . .






The scene. . .docile and bucolic "playground". . .SATAN'S PLAYGROUND!!!!!!!






Butter, intrepid veteran of many slides and swings, see saws and Merry go rounds, rises to the top of the ladder, and gracefully, yet manly, slides down the slide. . .only to lose his footing at the bottom and fall "BACK"WARDS. . .small of back meets hard as a rock ridge of the slide in a battle of wills. . .and the slide wins. . .






OF course I was 2 feet away, OF course I saw it happen in that scary slo-mo ultra fast Matrix like reality. . .noooo...ooo...ooo...Thwack. . . .Mooooooooommmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. . .in that order.






So- whew, it is really summer now, we have had our first trip to the ER- with X-rays, and it is not even the 4th yet. . .CHECK that off the list. . .