Seems so long ago- but it comes up

Now- as I try to get my committee together, I remember. . .there was someone I thought should be on it- and she is not, for a reason that became one of those life altering moments. . .

I shall explain- Back in 2005, an instructor I have know since undergrad(which for me is 2002) was having a party at her "estate." When I got the e mailed invitation and saw who was invited, I assumed I was invited in error, and deleted the message. This instructor approached me in the hall and was insistent that I should attend. I scrambled to make arrangements for childcare, feeling QUITE important, so very proud, and daydreaming about the supposed status as "promising doctoral student" ready to be feted around. . .and was CRUSHED and HUMILIATED beyond belief when I arrived at the estate. . .dressed for the party. . .and told I would be serving the drinks, thus saving said instructor A TON OF MONEY(so she said) and well, I heard I was thanked during some conversation, I did not hear it, as I was dealing with a red wine spill in the sun room(honest to G-D, I was!!!!!)

Wow, what a night. So, I hung out with the caterers, got asked to serve at another function (complete with business card) and cried myself home. . .not a penny offered, even for gas! So, the relationship was a bit strained. . .at least on my end. She asked me to code some data for her as an overload, since I had a 50% appointment already, because she was off to England(hence the trans Atlantic), she apparently was unhappy with my refusal to work MORE than the 10 extra hours. . .and was rather put out.

I did not realize HOW put out until the next time I saw her, after her return- when I saw her between classes, and she did not return my greeting-despite having seen me. . .no big deal, but then, so ridiculous. . .I had to see another prof down the hall from her, walked by her office twice, the second time, while I was passing, she SLAMMED the door as I went by looking right at me!Alllllllllrighty then, I guess I will not be asked back to serve at HER estate again- which, of course, cuts me sooooooo deep. . .NOT!

So, it has been almost 4 years since this happened, and this, along with 2007's stats hell- yeah, it's here, go look at September, October, November and December 2007. . .the pain, the horror, the Nancmat. . .and now, I hope it will be in the hands of my trusty committee, chair, and my own speed to get the rest of the way to dissertation. . .I hope.