Ok, so fair enough, if I am calling out other autistic moms, I should be able to provide an example of what it should be like, right? Wrong! I do not suppose to say that mine is the definitive way to do this, autism, in my opinion, the ultimate social construction, and no autistic parent should be feeling obligated to follow any of my leads. . .I do not consider them leads- they are paths I have taken. Nothing more, nothing less- the way I have led my son to his current state, may not, and perhaps should not be used as The Rosetta stone- Autism whisperer, puleeze!
My problem with the whole "spotlight on famous moms who have autistic kids" is such- in these articles, and the way they were written, it seems like autism is something that can be cured (not proven yet) can be caused by shots (disproved as recently as 2004) and that diet changes can eliminate the problem (again, not a cure some kids who showed improvement with the gluten/sugar free diet have regressed)
The diet thing drives me nuts because some kids have the over stimulation issue so intensely that they literally cannot eat food- there are 7 year olds like Precious who drink ensure/formula and some baby food because they cannot tolerate to swallow anything else. There are 7 year olds, 10 year olds, 3 year olds who are on tube feeding because they cannot swallow at all.
All that I know is that seeing Rainman and reading about these 2 specific kids will not ever fully lead to comprehensive understanding about autism, because these kids with this condition are still individuals, and what works for some will not work in others. . .at no time did I ever mean to say that I alone was the voice of the autistic mom- and I will not let celebrities do that either, simply because you have some sort of fame doesn't mean you are less mortal. . .right?
So, more to come, as I have more to say on the subject. . .for sure!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
One of those lives
Leaves!!!!!!!!!
Raking is still fun:)
Hard work!
The Three Leafers
Precious not happy to be shopping!Total smackdown of the therapy supervisor yesterday- found out she is not liking my hour mongering. . .I want Precious to have all the hours he can get. . .as he goes post intensive after the new year! So, I had the NERVE to comment to her supervisor that I felt she was shorting him hours, because she was not happy with my frequent questions about why he is so low. . .oh oh, I would hate to be her tomorrow, as I had words with the man about her attitude in general and he stated that she was having the same problems with her other moms. . .hmmmm
So, stats class is totally kicking my ass. Not from any real lack of understanding, just for having to deal with the instructor- I guess I have just been so spoiled by the ones I have had in the past. My committee for my Master's was top rate, and I got spoiled by their like of students and teaching. . .sigh! I am rusty, I have been trying to review, especially logistic regressions, but she has no tolerance for my rather "remedial" questions. . .we sha see if my Ordinal regression is up to par, wonder if I do well. . .will she think I had help? Too funny as some of the class is e mailing ME for help!
So, other than that we are holding it together- I have selected my doctoral chair- Amanda will be doing the honors! As Ann and I have parted ways, well, not that I am grieving, Amanda is the best choice!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
So far
KIA- Wisdom teeth out, but still KIA-healing but whinny!
Precious had his first. full. day. EVER! AT SCHOOL-8-3 AND did great! He has no therapy 1 day a week, so he goes to school all day on that day! I am happy. Prince NO pal has been MIA and that is JUST fine. After our last go around, and her new letter of reprimand in her folder/vita courtesy of me (which I have a copy of) she has not deigned to mess about in the affairs of this Rainmom Dragon! :)
Cocoa is well, Butter too- Beloved is already struggling with his math. . .tutors are already in play, must be a record or something!
My school- story for another time!
Precious had his first. full. day. EVER! AT SCHOOL-8-3 AND did great! He has no therapy 1 day a week, so he goes to school all day on that day! I am happy. Prince NO pal has been MIA and that is JUST fine. After our last go around, and her new letter of reprimand in her folder/vita courtesy of me (which I have a copy of) she has not deigned to mess about in the affairs of this Rainmom Dragon! :)
Cocoa is well, Butter too- Beloved is already struggling with his math. . .tutors are already in play, must be a record or something!
My school- story for another time!
More self congratulations for another "It Mom"
Crap. Crap. Crap.
I have no other words to use for what is about to hit the stands. . .ohhhh, Jenny McCarthy's kid has. AUTISM.
Words like "devastating" and "wreck" and "no more kids" and "autism whisper" "Jim Carrey" and how hard it was/is/will always be to have autism boy saddled to her. . .he made Daddy go away, because he made her sad and obsessed with "curing him"
Worse than Holly Robinson Peete [who served as McCarthy's spiritual advisor infamous for her "I had to have more kids so his twin (to her autistic son) was not saddled with autism boy". . .ouch- Mommy needs you as a caretaker for said autism boy after she croaks, niiiiiiice legacy!] this Jenny freak gave her kid any drugs she heard would cure this, and has made the declaration that "there is a special place in heaven for mothers of autistic kids" and that she will be buying drinks for them. . . as a Jew I will not have to worry about refusing the drink. . .us Jewish autistic mothers will be in hell. . .oh, wait, that is where she thinks autistic moms are already. . .
I am stunned at her selfish and negative tone- she only gets "happy" when he improves. . .what if he stops improving? Back to depression and the sad realization that her engineered boobs will not make her happy?
The worst part? She had herself on a waiting list to get STATE FUNDING! Miss movie/tv star and Playboy herself. . .when she found out about the waiting list? She mortgaged her house. . .she was unable to get her boob job money back. . .sigh the burden of stardom, money for ta tas, not for therapy!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. She gives us so much to undo. . .how long before mothers of more profoundly autistic children are faulted for not doing enough to "cure" their kids- especially those STILL on that waiting list?
I have no other words to use for what is about to hit the stands. . .ohhhh, Jenny McCarthy's kid has. AUTISM.
Words like "devastating" and "wreck" and "no more kids" and "autism whisper" "Jim Carrey" and how hard it was/is/will always be to have autism boy saddled to her. . .he made Daddy go away, because he made her sad and obsessed with "curing him"
Worse than Holly Robinson Peete [who served as McCarthy's spiritual advisor infamous for her "I had to have more kids so his twin (to her autistic son) was not saddled with autism boy". . .ouch- Mommy needs you as a caretaker for said autism boy after she croaks, niiiiiiice legacy!] this Jenny freak gave her kid any drugs she heard would cure this, and has made the declaration that "there is a special place in heaven for mothers of autistic kids" and that she will be buying drinks for them. . . as a Jew I will not have to worry about refusing the drink. . .us Jewish autistic mothers will be in hell. . .oh, wait, that is where she thinks autistic moms are already. . .
I am stunned at her selfish and negative tone- she only gets "happy" when he improves. . .what if he stops improving? Back to depression and the sad realization that her engineered boobs will not make her happy?
The worst part? She had herself on a waiting list to get STATE FUNDING! Miss movie/tv star and Playboy herself. . .when she found out about the waiting list? She mortgaged her house. . .she was unable to get her boob job money back. . .sigh the burden of stardom, money for ta tas, not for therapy!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. She gives us so much to undo. . .how long before mothers of more profoundly autistic children are faulted for not doing enough to "cure" their kids- especially those STILL on that waiting list?
Friday, September 7, 2007
The first "week"
KIA ROCKS!!!
COCOA SCOLDSOk- so Precious is off to a stellar school year!! I am SOOO happy to have him back in school, he is doing so well! Behavior is so good, and I want it to stay that way!
Ordered KIA's senior pictures. . .the studio is GREAT!!! He looks so old and mature, and well, handsome. . .such a nice packet of pictures too.
Butter is doing really well in his classroom- it is always fun when he learns something new. . .he is so anxious to share it.
Cocoa is loving her new all day school schedule, and her teacher has already commented on how considerate and tough she is at the same time. . .too true
Beloved bear is slowly settling into his new routine, last year of middle school and he is all set to enjoy a year of BMOC status. . .until freshman year of high school!!!
Thursday, September 6, 2007
The SAHM/EOTH Mom- Enemies?
On another blog the age old question. . .the SAHM vs. Employed outside the home Mom- The war continues
Ok, I have done both, and each one has +- yeh /nay. . .where are YOU on the spectum?
Yeh SAHM- Who has the kids? YOU DO! End of story. The absence of having the "back up plan" in case of illness, school closings and rained out play cannot EVER be OVERvalued! The majority of my working life now revolves around how/who/when/how long the kids are gonna be in need of care I cannot provide personally. Gottenyu!
Nay SAHM- The underlying notions that for whatever reason you cannot hack it in the "real world" unless you have a good reason for being home, I did, I have an autistic kid, you are somehow slacker/idiot material, ESPECIALLY if you attend any of your partner work functions. You are not even worthy of SMALL TALK!
Yeh EOTH Mom- The respect and self esteem that a job can bring, career or no. Even my part time work was the best at times, the people I helped were so appreciative, unlike certain others, and it was a chunk of time away from the house, which was starting to get quiet and untidy. I hated housework, still do.
Nay EOTH Mom- The feelings/comments/contradictions/conundrums/baggage/drek that comes with all the balancing/juggling/struggling/improvising that comes with trying to do, oh, I mean have it all. . .oh you have it all right. . .up until you stagger to bed. The innuendos that crop up when you relate a trial or tribulation that befalls you. . .and you were not on the scene at the time, the unasked question "well, where were YOU when this was going on?" And the ease you shift guilt, real or imaginary, to yourself, the default usual suspect!
So, why the war? What's the problem?
Well, if I had to I guess why we felt the need to judge moms like us and find them lacking, I would have to fall back on my "because once you become a mom you are judged" judge as ye are also judged rationale. We need to tear down those who challange our self esteem, and find faults. Too artificial, too plastic, those fit moms with their perfect bods, clothes nails. . .those moms do not look like they were EVER lived in!! The house of looking glass selfs, I guess.
I also think that if I really thought about it hard enough, I would be asking the question "where is dad?" In my life, dad is not judged the same as mom- I think my husband would pass out if he knew all that I do in a day all while working outside the home. It never occurs to me while ripping on "Bratz mom" and calling her names, that maybe I should sit Daddy Dearest down and demand his time and effort around the house and the children. He who has no clue when Precious was last tested and what his progress was at that time. No idea what classes KIA is taking this year, what colleges he is applying to. . .
To be fair, the moms I am jealous of show a self that may not be entirely authentic. They may have a new outfit because their way of coping with isolation and being lonely is shopping. They may have a doting mother who sends them money, they may be able to stay at home because they lost their life partner in a horrible way and were able to secure some financial security- I may never know, will never know, because I am too busy judging them and myself, and finding myself lacking for my inability to fall intothe stereotype, listen to the right music and be the right kind of mom.I am lucky, my kids seem to like the mom I am, and I guess at the end of the day, when I take my shower :), that is really what is important!
M
Ok, I have done both, and each one has +- yeh /nay. . .where are YOU on the spectum?
Yeh SAHM- Who has the kids? YOU DO! End of story. The absence of having the "back up plan" in case of illness, school closings and rained out play cannot EVER be OVERvalued! The majority of my working life now revolves around how/who/when/how long the kids are gonna be in need of care I cannot provide personally. Gottenyu!
Nay SAHM- The underlying notions that for whatever reason you cannot hack it in the "real world" unless you have a good reason for being home, I did, I have an autistic kid, you are somehow slacker/idiot material, ESPECIALLY if you attend any of your partner work functions. You are not even worthy of SMALL TALK!
Yeh EOTH Mom- The respect and self esteem that a job can bring, career or no. Even my part time work was the best at times, the people I helped were so appreciative, unlike certain others, and it was a chunk of time away from the house, which was starting to get quiet and untidy. I hated housework, still do.
Nay EOTH Mom- The feelings/comments/contradictions/conundrums/baggage/drek that comes with all the balancing/juggling/struggling/improvising that comes with trying to do, oh, I mean have it all. . .oh you have it all right. . .up until you stagger to bed. The innuendos that crop up when you relate a trial or tribulation that befalls you. . .and you were not on the scene at the time, the unasked question "well, where were YOU when this was going on?" And the ease you shift guilt, real or imaginary, to yourself, the default usual suspect!
So, why the war? What's the problem?
Well, if I had to I guess why we felt the need to judge moms like us and find them lacking, I would have to fall back on my "because once you become a mom you are judged" judge as ye are also judged rationale. We need to tear down those who challange our self esteem, and find faults. Too artificial, too plastic, those fit moms with their perfect bods, clothes nails. . .those moms do not look like they were EVER lived in!! The house of looking glass selfs, I guess.
I also think that if I really thought about it hard enough, I would be asking the question "where is dad?" In my life, dad is not judged the same as mom- I think my husband would pass out if he knew all that I do in a day all while working outside the home. It never occurs to me while ripping on "Bratz mom" and calling her names, that maybe I should sit Daddy Dearest down and demand his time and effort around the house and the children. He who has no clue when Precious was last tested and what his progress was at that time. No idea what classes KIA is taking this year, what colleges he is applying to. . .
To be fair, the moms I am jealous of show a self that may not be entirely authentic. They may have a new outfit because their way of coping with isolation and being lonely is shopping. They may have a doting mother who sends them money, they may be able to stay at home because they lost their life partner in a horrible way and were able to secure some financial security- I may never know, will never know, because I am too busy judging them and myself, and finding myself lacking for my inability to fall intothe stereotype, listen to the right music and be the right kind of mom.I am lucky, my kids seem to like the mom I am, and I guess at the end of the day, when I take my shower :), that is really what is important!
M
Monday, September 3, 2007
End of Summer SIGH
Well, tomorrow tears it- back we all go to school. I am underwhelmed by the prospect, especially since this will be my first school year as the official single mother of 5 school aged kids. . .no help for anyone, yeah, like that is new in this scenario!
With no family near ever, well, some dead, some disinterested, it has always been with a tad more than a scoop of envy that I hear others talk about their moms and grandparents who pitch in with childcare, transportation, and such. Having NEVER had that, I admit it, jealous!
However, I know myself enough to know that I am really particular about how I parent my kids- remembering how much my older kids were doted on to the extreme, by my now dead family members z"l. . .well, let's just say I have have alienated them until they left in disgust, thus leaving me as I am now- alone, stressed out and devoid of any stomach lining due to ulcers!
School for Precious is going to be ROUGH. His therapy schedule was way off- I cannot wait to post the goods on the whole operation, but I have laundry to do before I get to bed.
Cocoa was complaining of a stomach ache before bed. . .hope it is just the jitters. . . took the kids to the lake this morning- swam a bit, until the smell and the fear of e coli drove me away. The yellow jackets also helped my decision as did Precious and his "want the car please, Mama"
Oh, and I am an aunt again! My sister in law had here baby on Friday morning- 4 weeks early, but 5# 7oz baby girl. . .Kenzie, sigh, cutie!!
No picturese yet, will post ASAP!
M
With no family near ever, well, some dead, some disinterested, it has always been with a tad more than a scoop of envy that I hear others talk about their moms and grandparents who pitch in with childcare, transportation, and such. Having NEVER had that, I admit it, jealous!
However, I know myself enough to know that I am really particular about how I parent my kids- remembering how much my older kids were doted on to the extreme, by my now dead family members z"l. . .well, let's just say I have have alienated them until they left in disgust, thus leaving me as I am now- alone, stressed out and devoid of any stomach lining due to ulcers!
School for Precious is going to be ROUGH. His therapy schedule was way off- I cannot wait to post the goods on the whole operation, but I have laundry to do before I get to bed.
Cocoa was complaining of a stomach ache before bed. . .hope it is just the jitters. . . took the kids to the lake this morning- swam a bit, until the smell and the fear of e coli drove me away. The yellow jackets also helped my decision as did Precious and his "want the car please, Mama"
Oh, and I am an aunt again! My sister in law had here baby on Friday morning- 4 weeks early, but 5# 7oz baby girl. . .Kenzie, sigh, cutie!!
No picturese yet, will post ASAP!
M
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