Thursday, April 30, 2009

Ahhhhhhhh

Flu of a porcine nature. . .FEH. . .

I have the scent of lavender all over and I just love the way it smells. . .

Dr. Peter White did not mention how relaxing aroma therapy can be. . .but I must admit that at times I feel like an addict waiting for the "Lav" hit to take effect. . .

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Yoga 101 Under the Umbrella aka My dog doesn't face that way

A mess even Martha would be proud of. . .Yoga, in the comfort of your own home!

Ok, so it was not REALLY yoga. . .my dog doesn't face downward. . .but, according to the box my CD/DVD came in this purchase would be more like an attempt at "letting go" and "willing yourself to throw your cares to the wind" (umm, not good, when you spit OR throw cares to the wind, they come back to you with interest!) but in the spirit of trying to "relax" I decided to attempt a "relaxation session" in "the comfort of my own home"

Clearly the authors of my boxed set never visited my home. . .comfort yes, but does that have to include silence, peace and tranquility? After attempting this session, I would have to conclude that silence, peace, and tranquility are CRUCIAL parts of the relaxation session.

I have so concluded based on the following excerpt from said relaxation session

RM- Kids! I am going to be working on relaxing(!!!!!) for a bit, stay out of trouble, play nice, I will just be upstairs.

Kids- CRASH! SHRIEK! mmMOOOOOOMMMMM!

RM- Ok, gonna try it again. . .I will be upstairs. . .relaxing. . .so hold it together for an hour

Kids- Crash! BOOM! Smash!

RM- 45 minutes

Kids- Crash! Boom!

RM- 30 minutes

Kids- Crash. . .

RM- Gimme 10 minutes to find inner peace. . .PLEASE???!

Kids-cr. . .

In Lavender scented room, stringed music of an odd sort playing

Faint screaming getting louder. . .

Door- Pound BOOM CRASH

RM- Sigh. . .inner peace is pretty useless without outer lack of chaos. . .

Kids- Is it lunch time yet?

Rm- OOOOOOOOOOHM. . .namaste





Tuesday, April 28, 2009

More Technical difficulties

The downside of technological advancement


I am not a big fan of reading to people I am supposed to be speaking to. . .but notes are ok by me. . .when you are reading in front of people you are supposed be talking to, things can and do go wrong. . .,

Monday, April 27, 2009

Destressed thoughts. . .

Great lake in the moonlight- Winter 2008-09. . .full moon on the waves. . .


Faith is for the night. In times of darkness, PRAY!
The morning prayer is taking a stand.
Before we begin our day,we need to strengthen ourselves for the tests of the new day, with prayer.
Mincha, the afternoon prayer is growth, self-discipline,pruning the work of the day with prayer.
The prayer of the night is reflection, encountering the Almighty in the prayer of the evening, to prepare ourselves for the faith of sleep.
Adapted from a lecture by Rabbi Union: “The Art of Jewish Prayer”; Jewish Learning Exchange; Los Angeles, August 4, 2003 Vol. 17.105© 2008 Rae Ekman Shagalov

Taking Stock

Salem, MA 2008



So, having had time to think about this whole last few weeks. . .and getting even more angry than I was before. . .

In replaying the conversation in my mind, the true tone of the whole exchange is remarkable in that 1. I wonder if he would have had this discussion with a man, and 2. did he REALLY think that by stating that I was really acting out of selfishness, this "degree seeking behavior" that he was "helping me"?

Notice what is absent from the conversation, he never suggests things like getting help from their dad, try to get your older kids to do more, is there any support network you can tap into. . .none of this plays a part. . .how about looking at the "life change"? Maybe I have been a bit more wounded by the events of the past few years than I let myself feel. . .no we will have none of THAT. . .give up, get a real job (never mind if it can pay enough to support your kids long term! Don't worry your pretty little head about that li'l old detail. . .kitten!)

So- do it on your own, and change YOUR "destructive" behavior of academic and professional advancement. . .woman!

And the relaxation suggestions? Feh! Google the ways to relax, go ahead, I dare you. . .

I did, then I made a list, checked it twice, and here is what I came up with-

Ummm, hell to the NO


I mean COME ON. . .how is this supposed to help? I do not enjoy it, it is NOT relaxing. . .and it is MORE time and energy to burn on a "project. . .NEXT!

Hmmmm- yeah, this is real day brightener/non stress way to spend time. . .

what was that other thing. . .oh YEAH. . .

The oh so relaxing. . .BATH

See, I would have to go somewhere for this to work. . .no kids banging on the door begging to come in. . .pleading to use the potty. . .bored kids, fighting kids. . .tattle tales and whiners. What's that? Wait until they are asleep and THEN do the bath???

Ummm- nope after they go to bed, I relax with my reading lists and this, these, and dreams of this

Degree seeking behavior. . .sheesh!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Under the Umbrella. . .the working parts. . .

Look at my desk. . .
Dry Erase board holds all. . .

Look at all the references. . .


Lucky Duck and iPod. . .essentials



Multiple bed partners. . .:)




Martha and I go for a Smoothie


Since she did such a BANG up job for the holiday season, talked me into, um, I mean through a holiday that was not mine to have. . .I could not think of a more appropo person to have a smoothie with than my inner Martha (I am assuming Club Fed and insider trading were not too terribly traumatic!)


In the interest of full disclosure- I filed the smoothie away with yoga and trendy food as just not for me. . .they just seemed so cutesier and New Age. . .not that there is anything wrong with that. . .some of my good friends are card carrying New Agers. . .


So, after the kids are in bed, and I have laid down a layer of soundproofing to mask the blender sound, and after getting a recipe off the Internet. . .Martha and I were ready for our smoothie. . .

RM- Ok, time to get some ice

Inner Martha- Did you pre crush the ice?

RM- ?? Why the hell would I do that?

IM- Nice, way to put the lax in relaxation with that bidet mouth. . .pre crushing the ice will make for a smoother smoothie.

RM-Oh, right

IM- Did you brew the Chai?

RM-(running tea bags under hot water faucet) Yeah. . sure

IM- Was the water slightly less than roiling?

RM-???? HTFSIK!

IM- Look, I am not going to help you if you keep this hostility going. . .I am calling for a TRANQUILITY MOMENT.


IM- There, now are you in a happy place?

RM- Censored for the delicate reader. . .wipes drool from chin. . .

IM- Look are you in this or not?

RM- Yeah, sorry. What now?

IM- Add all the elements into the Smoothie mixer

RM- I have a Blender

IM- I said a Smoothie mixer

RM- Um, who is Lax in the relax department now??

IM- Fine, put it in your common Little trailer model blender

Grinding noises ensue

IM- Where are the Smoothie glasses?

RM- I have these

IM- Figures. . .fine, pour the mixture in. . .straw whipped creme. . .

RM- Well, let's down the stuff

IM- Cheers

Silence as IM Quaffs and RM chugs. . .

RM- Why is this taking so long?

IM- What?

RM- Why is this so hard to drink?

IM- Because you are supposed to sip it. . .a good smoothie will take about a half hour to consume and enjoy

RM- WHAT??? WTF, Martha!? I do not have 30 minutes to wait to drink a smoothie. . .I have work to do!

IM- You are not in a smoothie place right now. . .find your smoothie place. . .find it. . .

RM- You mean like a Corona ad?

IM- A what?

RM- Never mind. . .how do I get this stuff to pour?

IM- You wait for it to melt and sip while thinking rich and relaxing thoughts. . .

RM- I am 0 for 2 on this Martha. . .

more navel gazing as I wait for my smoothie to prepare itself for consumption

IM- Well, I am off, I hope you enjoyed your smoothie

RM- Wait one Origami Napkin moment! You have to help me get the smoothie off the ceiling and do the dishes. . .

IM- Darling, who do you think I am, Rachael Ray? I am Martha Stewart! Martha doesn't DO dishes. . .cheerio!

RM-&#%@

Ahh, relaxation. . . the Martha Stewart way!

Much Ado about nothing much


So- the results are in. . .and there is really no medical, well, pathological reason or reasons that explain feeling poorly under the umbrella. . .cue the music. it is actually official, I am suffering from. . .wait for it. . . stress!
Sheesh! As anti climactic as my sex life. . .I cannot believe I fell for it- all signs point to stress. . .a ton of medical tests later. . .stress
So- I have been going to this doctor for 15 years or so, and he "consulted" with me after the tests all came back negative or normal. . .for a kinder gentler paternalistic session on my life, or the lack thereof. . .
The following is a paraphrased account of that consultation, names have been changed for maximum ventability;
Dr. Peter White- So, we have to look at other options for your to feel better. . .
RM- We do?
DPW- Yes, we do. You are having issues with your health, and nothing is physically wrong with you, but that may change if you do not look at your life and choices you are making. . . .
RM- *
DPW- You need to calm down, you need to take a look at your life and try to make changes that will lower your stress level
RM- **
DPW- SO, let's look at your life, right now, tell me about your day, what have you done so far today
RM-***
DPW- Ummm, ok, well, how important is the whole getting the degree thing?
RM-*
DPW- Have you thought about getting that degree posthumously, and having it cost your kids your parenting and love and care?
RM-**
DPW- That is where you may be headed, if you do not do something to change your life.
RM-*
DPW- So, let's look at small, every day changes you can make in your life to make your day less stressful.
RM-*
DPW- Have you ever thought of a daily ritual that would relax you? Baths, walks, smoothies?
RM-***
DPW- You know, just a bit of time you can set aside for yourself- an hour or 2. . .exercise, read(!!!), do some arts or crafts, make a smoothie. . .
RM-*
DPW- I would seriously consider your options regarding your current workload- and make sure this degree seeking behavior is truly the best course for your to take at this point in your life. Maybe you should just get a real job and slow down the ambitions a bit.
RM-***
DPW- See if a smoothie a day will help. . .and a walk
RM- Um. . .yeah. . .
*- Are your fucking KIDDING me??
**Get the FUCK out of HERE with that shit!
***??? Whaa. . .
So-
Apparently getting my degree is a threat, no wait, my AMBITION SEEKING BEHAVIOR, is a threat. . .
*
I have decided to blog more- if for no other reason to make fun of this whole sad event. . .
But hey, good news- I am not sick. . .just stressed. . .:)
Story of my life!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Getting to the bottom of it

So- for the past several months, I have been feeling off, only to feel better for awhile, then off again, and well, after finally taking a look at just how long it has been since I felt "good" I went to see what, if anything was wrong.

So- today, I get to go figure out what, if anything, can be done to help me feel better, and we shall see what is going on.

I have a late morning/early afternoon schedule of investigative measures. . .hmmmm

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Artistic License

This is good. . . . but
These are much

Much


Better!



Day dreams of an aching back and spirit

This, version the Renaissance. . .





This the aromatherapy option. . .could you IMAGINE???


Between my back, and my head aches. . .what a cool day dream:)