Is temporary insanity a good defense when you want to kill your cell phone?

I have a cell phone, and I can list a LOT of reasons why they are great- however, I can also list many reasons why I am plotting the demise of mine. . .and depending on the day, the methodology involved varies on degree of damage, from say a cracked screen to total destruction.

I plead insanity because autocorrect is provoking me in ways that defy description. Yes, there is a site, here that shows the merriment of such situations. . .but the emotions one feels when it actually happens to you. . .not really coming through. . .

I know now how the poor victims of autocorrect feel. When texting my son KIA about supper, I instructed him to put some "frozen piss" into the oven. . .yes, and when I attemped to correct my statement, the menu had changed once again, this time "fuckweazel" was to be placed in the oven (here is the best part) at a toasty 400 degrees for 15 minutes. Ummm yum?

Then my son Muffin age 17, was no where to be found so I texted him the message "Olga, are you heterosexual?" when I was asking him if he was here. . .yes, let the countdown to therapy begin!

Then when attempting a double message to each of the above mentioned sons at once, with a 7.5 degree of difficulty for women my age attached- I joyously told them "Fuck you" when I meant to say love you. . .then when I tried to say the phone was a pain in the ass, it autocorrected it to a pain in the aside. . .at which point, I carefully put the phone down. . .when all I wanted to do was rocket it across the room.

For now it is safe, I need it more than I can imagine. However-it should tread lightly. . .