Because I feel the need to show my kids are still doing ok:)

Yay for throwing sharp things when you are 13

His mother's child- Rawk ON Butter!

Can you guess where we are? (hint look at Butter's headgear)

Arrrrrrrrr(another hint)

What?

Waking moments

Yes- I am alive, actually doing well, but realize I need to be blogging more. No challenges no preset topics, just have to get back to using this blogs as I intended, to be complete.

I am glad to have such a great opportunity to learn, and I will share more with you in the future.

Goodness long time and wow people can really suck

So, I love reading blogs from all over, and different topics and from diverse groups. I came across one that tried (ahem) to discuss the current push in SF to ban circumcision. . .yup- ban it, so Jewish mothers like me would be breaking the law if we practiced our religion and SF Jews will lose that freedom. One of the comments was very schadenfreude- talking about NY and the gay marriage issue- she said something along the lines of hey wonder how those Jews (Orthodox) feel. . .esp since they were against gay marriage. . .WTF???
Sorry but hypocrisy is an equal opportunity condition, don't bitch about not having rights then smirk when faced with another group losing theirs. . .really??? I tried to comment, but of course the debate was cut off(bahahaha yes pun intended) and since I respect bloggers I did not press the issue but DAMMIT- really? You are being denied rights and you try to tell me that having a group outside of yours lose rights is ok because some members of that group oppose you then to hell with their religious freedom????
Wow STFU with that nonsense!

May Day

So much continues to happen- I live the life, but I cannot keep up with the changes at times, especially now- but since I am sick of bullet points, I will attempt to compose a lovely post. . .

The situation with my nieces has gotten worse- and it just may be that I am not going to be able to help- my sister in law attacked my relative while drunk and then when my brother pulled her off, she accused him of abusing her. She now wants a divorce so bringing the kids here may not be possible- since it would be over state lines, he is in Florida where I am thinking those girls will have to be half dead before the state takes them from their mom. . .we will wait and see.

Work is very good- I am making real progress on my dissertation, and have 5 interviews lined up with 3 more possible(one even has PICTURES) YAY- on the PA work, I admit I am having a lot of fun driving around town and remembering the information I gathered about certain areas. . .it is really amazing to see your work around you. . .

Life otherwise? Well, it is what it is, you do what you have to and make the best of it. I cannot say I am all in favor of a long distance marriage, but it really does make you appreciate the time you do spend together. . .

Passover was very VERY hard this year! I was not feeling the best, and matzah was not helping, since my issue was not related to a tummy issue(had that earlier) All I can say is that I am a Passover wimp and I feel that Matzah is truly the bread of affliction. . .

The kids are all doing well. Precious is just amazing and he will be in regular classes in middle school next year, he is just such a person now, his personality and his sense of humor are growing strong and he is just such a great kid.

Cocoa is looking forward to summer. She likes school, but hit the wall this year about "cursive" writing. . .she really can't sit still long enough to complete it and whines about it a LOT. . .I will be glad to not have to fight her for the summer:)

Butter is having a great year, and I am very sad that he will not move on to play next year. He has decided his musical days are over, and I can't push him, he did his best, but his heart is not in it, so I will let him move on. . .

Muffin is doing better, still conflicted, but better off than he was, I am glad to see him more relaxed and laughing more. . .

KIA- well, he is well, and I am very VERY proud of him:)

As for the times we live in, all I can say is WOW and OUCH and Daaaamn- I never thought I would see the day that people would actualy drive less when gas prices shot up this high. . .maybe we are on to something:)

More later. . .

Deviance and Bliss

So, I have been missing lately, there are good reasons so let's get to it shall we? Ok, first and probably most important(you will freak when you see the other points) I have IRB approval and I am ready to go! I have 6 yes SIX people who want to talk to me. . .and I am thrilled. The Archives yield such awesome stuff, and I am just loving my dissertation. . . how much you ask? Enough to relegate my MARRIAGE/Elopement to second place. I make no apologies. I have been on this quest to get this degree longer than I've known him, so bah, it works. Yes, I got married- it made sense, he will be living with me soon(no, you read that right, we have not lived together yet) and well, to be honest, I am concerned. I have spent a LOT of time becoming who I am. . .me I Ema. I have made choices, done things made plans, and know now that while I am glad, of course, that I chose to marry him, I realize there are still many areas for concern. He is in his hometown in order to secure custody of his child. So we live 131 miles apart. Gas prices and money as it is, we meet about once a month. Sometimes twice(yay Christmas) and well, it was working well(no really in one way it was) The way it was working is this, I realize that after 4 years of calling my own shots. . .I am wondering about having someone around all.the.time. Do not get me wrong, he is awesome, and so chill and sweet, but at the end of the day I am. . .not. I NEED my leave me alone to work my tail off and crank the tunes times. The "OMG this is an amazing piece of history" moments. . .oh oh, SOOOOO hope I have not forgotten what it means to be a "couple." I am worried, I admit. I am so damn close to this, and wonder if I have it in me to be a "wife" right now. . .yes I know shitty timing but well, there it is, true to form. I know I want to be a wife, but can I be a wife? Hmmmm, I know from our conversations that he gets the quirks of me- the "leave me the hell alone I can do this myself" me. What I wonder is if he can be husband to such a wife. . .I think he can, but as I get better and G-d forbid as I decline healthwise, I wonder. . .am I ready to let myself trust someone to help? Yoda, my beloved advisor, has shown me many MANY times that she has my best interests at heart as I get this degree. Mz. Zz has too, as has Laura and many others. . .so has he but funny I find myself asking "to what end?" He knows my job search goes national in less than a year, he says he understands that in light of his custody battle(he had primary sole physical placement, the mom has hours to visit 2 days a week, no overnights because of her life partner choice) but does he know that when(see not if, WHEN) I get a job my kids and I are gone. . .and he has to decide if he comes with or if he can. . .he says he does, we have discussed it at length, but well, if I told you he was supposed to be moved in BEFORE the wedding, would that clue you in about the situation(he is still not moved in remember btw) So- in lieu of more whining I give this open letter to the strong souls of the world- It is hard to be a strong soul in a weak world. Do not give in to the idea that you NEED anyone, be strong. And if someone does venture in, slowly, take it easy and see how you do. . .and know I understand. I understand the wish the hope that some day you will have someone to share your work and all it's passion with, in minute detail. Hold out, stay the course and wait for someone who fits the bill- I could have had a number of people in my life- but in the end I had to realize and to decide on things, and well, they did not make the cut. Not family, but people who, for on reason or another, could not did not inspire in me the will to make them a part of life. I know you will wonder- as I do, can I handle NOT being alone. For as much as I wanted to share life with someone, there is a certain pride and dare I say purpose to knowing and remembering you can really only rely on yourself. . .but it is a lonely life- and as I read the Facebook pages of my friends, I see how much even the most independent of friends can and do have a life with someone they love- and I became aware of this idea of "lonely." I was always a HUGE fan of alone time, still am and plan on having it daily. But lonely is having a world to share and no one in it, I could tell the kids, but to what end? So as I saw my friends and their lives, I was aware that I did want to have such a thing. . .and here we are Strong Souls- we will always be strong, and while I admit to a certain degree of pride in fighting my illness and my life alone, savoring each rise from relapse and such as a victory, I have to say that I am hoping the future will be bright, and the path a bit smoother. . .hope for a strong soul.

So, yes a few things

Well, it seems the family situation is getting finalized, with an estimated June arrival for my nieces- who will be 9 and 3 by then. . .sheesh. The oldest niece will be going to her bio dad, so that will be one more adjustment- just call us the Adjustment family. . .that is all my little family and I do these days!

More adjustments- I am planning an October wedding, yes after finally trusting that this guy is really up for the task, and understands in terrible detail, what it means to be around a sick person. . .the unfortunate details like nosebleeds that are epic, and oh yes spitting up blood and oh the wonderful events associate with a pIc line. . .infections and occlusions. . .well, he earned it- so I said yes, and the rest as they say is history, or no, wait, it will be future:)

The kids are cycling sick now- stomach bug and all- just want spring to arrive, so sick of the snow and cold. . .

In final news, our puppy is insane. Casey is doing well keeping him in his place and I am getting him fixed at the end of the month. . .until then, he is a terror:)

Will post pics later- have been sick myself so nothing really to report. . .

Back. . .sort of

Green Bay PACKERS SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, it has been awhile, but well, it has been busy and hectic and while things are not quite settled down, if I wait for that to happen I will never blog again so- bullets it is,

Having so many kids and so many things to take of, it makes perfect sense that I would add a 4 month old puppy into the mix right? I am such an idiot. He is sassy and perfect for the house, and well, we will see. . .

I have a brother who has a wife who is unwell. He also has 2 daughters, ages 8 and 3. He is also unwell. I am being asked to take in my nieces until further notice. Ummm oh oh. I have not given an answer, but there really is no other answer than yes. . .I have the room, and it is family so I will take them in after spring break unless another solution presents itself. There was help there, but she is now very ill with an auto immune disease, and cannot be there for the kids.

Work and school are the same I am back in the Archives and very happy. . .oh and see above for some really happy news