Commuter's back and who has yours?

Well, yes, bravado and bluster for the start of fall semester meant jumping in at Mach 10 with my hair on fire- and yes, already I have been singed.

Driving more this semester, which means a bit more pressure on my barely functional lower back- previous trauma and lack of ability to follow doctor's orders (bed rest (!!!), therapy, massages 3 times a week at least. . lolz) means it is pretty much one of those "at any given moment" type things- as in "at any given moment" (read the worst possible timing) it can just go out- which it did this week- hip felt like it was level with my ear, walking crooked, and well, you get the point. Thought it was better, until today, trying to get out of the car, and I could. not. move. Literally, could not stand, could not sit back in the car- felt like my back had locked at my hips and I was stuck there.

Yes, it hurt, it really did, but the worst part was. . .I had no one here to call for help. I hate being reminded of how alone I am, and how much if I do fail for any reason in any of my duties or responsibilities that there will be no back up, there will be no looking up to see the Roharim at the hilltop no Shadowfax, no Gandalph, just orcs and Sauron's eye waiting for you to fail and fall.

Stood there for what seemed like hours, and lowered myself to the concrete and crawled a bit, got a bit better. . .long story short, having a bad back with no one to have your back is just sad.