L'Chaim

Night at the Museum- Rainmom version

SUCH a morning person

SO NOT a morning person

Snack

Awwww

Staredown. . .The seal won

We went to the musueum for an overnight adventure- and oh WOW, good times. We slept in the Horicon Marsh exhibit, saw dog sled dogs in Alaska via webcam, and got to howl at them and they howled back! Went to the IMAX saw some night sky views and a show about ice. . .interesting stuff!

The kids had a great time, and with the exception of sleep deprivation and so really REALLY lousy coffee, the kids and I had an AWESOME time. Now if only Ben Stiller would have been there. . . better yet, Dexter!

A WELL DESERVED Cold Stone trip

After all of the drama and crap my babies have had to deal with, and all the pain and disappointment, it would have been understandable if these precious ones under my umbrella would have acted out a bit, and maybe moped (mom sure did)

Not these kids- these kids stepped up, made do and got on with it, and they inspire me every SINGLE day with their amazing personalities and off the wall senses of humor! So we went to Cold Stone and it. was. AWESOME!

Updates

Atlantic Ocean- off the coast of Maine- 2008

Ah yes, so it goes, the time has come for updates and goodness we have a few-

Gambit King has himself a new job! It has been a looooooooong few months and just when his job was being phased out, he got a new one. . .OMG so relieved for him!

KIA is all set for his move to MadTown- deposit and signed lease, meaning he is really REALLY going to do it this time, he means it:) So glad he is getting ready to move on, his course work in history at MadState will be sooooo cool to see and hear about!

Muffin is looking for a job, so far nada, lots of people with families working jobs that used to be for kids, but we'll see

Butter- Student of the month, honor role (love this sociology based typo:), exceptional violin concert WITH solo. . .and he has really blossomed socially this year, to the point of having friends over and going to their houses! HUGE step for the Butter!

Precious- excellent progress with both mainstreaming, which is soooooo awesome, and in many other things. We have been out and about so much lately and that has been so cool. . .

Cocoa- Doing well in school, her report card was awesome, and all is going well with her social skills as well, of course:)

Handed in another draft, and while the new meds are wreaking havoc with some things, at least they are in:) I went to see the Dead Sea Scrolls with my wonderful friend Mzz ZZ and it was AWESOME. . .:)

Waiting to hear how much red ink I will be swimming through. . .;)

On Goodbyes

My eyes are open wide
By the way I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way I'm leaving out today
I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved
Said, "Why are you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere
Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can
To make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Please don't cry one tear for me
I'm not afraid of what I have to say
This is my one and only voice
So listen close, it's only for today
I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved
Said, "Why are you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere"
Tell my mother, tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Here is my chance
This is my chance
Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can
To make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Pavement of our lives

Steps

Today

Overslept
Sick from new meds
Kids late for school
Out of gas on the way to work
Late for work
Drama
catch up on midterms and perfecting proposal
and then. . .

School is over, my babies come home and we will have hot cocoa and the brownies I just made. . .the perfect way to celebrate the ending of a less than perfect day:)

Priceless

One kicked in front door- $400

Therapy bills for the future- Many

Safe in the knowledge that ending that horrific marriage was THE BEST DECISION EVER and looking forward to a happy future- priceless!!!!!

Still here

Doing my best not to fall off the face of the planet. . .or drown in the workload. . .update soon- but still not enough money for the magic elixer. . .and I'm holding my own so no emergency basis rationale. . .hell of a thing

Missing you my angel baby. . .every day

Pictures of you
They're still on my mind
You had the smile
That could light up the world
Now it rains
It seems the sun never shines
And I'll drive down
This lonely lonely road
Ooh I got this feelin'
Girl I gotta let you go
'Cause now you've got to fly
Fly to the angels
Heaven awaits your heart
And flowers bloom in your name
You've got to fly Fly to the angels
All the stars in the night
Shine in your name
You know it hurts me way deep inside
When I turn and look
And find that you're not there
I try to convince myself
That the pain,
the pain
It's still not gone
'Cause now you've got to fly
Fly to the angels Heaven awaits your heart
And flowers bloom in your name
You've got to fly
Fly to the angels
All the stars in the night
Shine in your name

Still. . .

No one knows
Just what has
Become of herS
hattered though
Desperate
Oh so Innocent
And delicate
But too damn moderate
To not admit
To let go
Broken down
Hurt again
It never ends
Frightened and
Trembling
Did she fall again?
An accident
Her eyes
Encircled in
Black again
I cant believe that
She's still with him
For how long
Will you try?
How long until you
Walk away?
Your facade
Cant disguise
The fact that
You're in misery
Look inside
See what has
Become of her
Hiding within again
Can she pick herself
Up again?
It's just too difficult
And arduous
To let go
Flashes through
Her mind again
No more pain
Take control
If he raises his
Hand again
She'll find the freedom
The world will see that
She's had enough
For how long
Will you try?
How long until you
Walk away?
Your facade
Cant disguise
The fact that
You're in misery
For how long
Will you try?
How long until you
Walk away?
From the look
In your eyes
I know you bleed
Internally...For how long
You deny...How long until you
Walk away?
Your facade
Cant disguise
The fact that
You're in misery
For how long
Will you try?
How long until you
Walk away?
From the look
In your eyes
I know you bleed
Internally...

Venting

Fading, falling, lost in forever
Will I find a way to keep it together?
Am I strong enough to last through the weather in the hurricane of my life?
Can it be a conscious decision?
That I look for ways to alter my vision?
Am I speeding towards another collision in the alleyways of my life?
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Those who have fallen in
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Those who have fallen in
Please believe me
That my eyes deceive me?
Don't stand me up
Just leave me
I have fallen again
This is the end
Pain redefined
Shaking, burning up with the fever
In the realm of pain, I am the deceiver
Now I lie to myself, so I can believe her
As she dissembles my life
I cannot dispel the illusion
All my hopes and dreams are drowned by confusion
Can I find a way to make a solution that will reconfigure my life?
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Those who have fallen in
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Memories don't lie
You know better than
Those who have fallen in
Please believe me
That my ears deceive me
Don't stand me up
Just leave meI have fallen again
This is the end
Pain redefined
And I know that stillness shatters
We have all been frightened by the
The sound of footsteps on the pavement of our lives
I stand and fight
I'm not afraid to die
Elochai, bury me tonight
Please believe me
That the world decieves me
Don't stand me up
Just leave
I have fallen again
This is the end
Pain redefined

Snapshots of Footsteps

Well, it had to happen. . .

The fingers of G-d on the water

Ready for his haircut!

Clowning around at Panera

A favorite of me and my Precious

Trying to get away. . .DENIED!

The other shoe has dropped, I now have to pony up a few thousand dollars before I can get my doctor suggested, nay, DEMANDED IV medicine a second round.

Taking me off the immunotherapy to fight the infection was the best choice, but apparently it is the choice that just won't let it go. . .

SO while it is true that if I am severe distress I can go to the ER and get treated, I have to have cash or charge in the amount of a few grand in order to get any more treatment that is not treating an emergency.

It is not for lack of trying that I have no insurance, it is lack of money, and I am not eligible for Badgercare so I have been trying to work things out with my healthcare provider, well the business department, and well, to their credit they have been more than kind and even my doctors have tried to make the policies bend like Beckham. . .but I have hit the wall now, and have to just do the best I can.

That I am both resigned and pissed by this shows the history of my life- over the course of my life, there have been so many times where we did not go to doctors, and well, my attitude has always been one of only when I can't cure myself. . .

But still, the perception that everyone can and should get health care services is not very cut and dried. I know this more than ever now.

So, onward and upward, for as long as I can hold out:)