Sunday, November 30, 2008

The slippery Slope to the end of the semester

Waiting for cake!
Fun and games. . .or not. . .

My sweeties- Precious and KIA


First snow of the season. . .Casey is EXCITED!



So many things coming due at once. . .but a light at the end of the stress tunnel. . .very very deceptive. . .I think I am almost done, but I have a ton to do. . .story of my semester!
Some pictures, and lots of details to follow, but for now I have to daydream about my prelims and reading and reading and reading!!












Happy Birthday, my little November Woman!!

2 weeks old
2 years old

5 years old


7 years old yesterday!



How on EARTH can you be 7 years old already?? My shayna, you are a never ending source of pride and joy for me, and I am so blessed to have you as a daughter!
We had a great Shabbos birthday, did we not? With both of our birthdays on the same day always, I will always pave the way for our special days in November. . .you are the best birthday present I EVER go, sweetheart. . .even if you were exactly 1 week late for my birthday:)
Love you, sweetheart.
Ema

Friday, November 28, 2008

Z'l and Gottenyu!

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1227702336066&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull


With an aching heart, I am sad to report that the attack on the Chabad House in India has resulted in the deaths of the rabbi, rabbizim, and 3 others. Their 2 year old son was rescued, and the early reports are that this was a deliberate attack on Jews in India.

Dayan Emes.

I will post later on the wonderful contacts I have had with this group, but my heart is hurting so much- the terror and horror they must felt. . .how that open door aided in their murder. . .I cannot find the words to express my shock and horror. All I can say is Dayan Emes and say Kaddish

MOURNER'S KADDISH

An English Translation

Glorified and sanctified be G-d's great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will.

May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.

May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity. Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thankfulness to the infinity

Happy Holidays to you all!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A Disturbed Moment for the newly single gal. . .


This Moment lyrics
You will remember this moment
As you dig into me
And from your smile now
It seems as if you liked it
You'd better cherish this moment
As you dig into me
You'll never get another chance at this
I won't stand another minute
Of your questioning me
You hear me, stop
The interrogations over
I can't handle the feeling
Of your pestering me
How would you like
To meet my favourite fist
No you can't renege
I love to see you beg
Dream this moment as you run away
You will only separate me from
All I believe this moment
It will tell the way
You're the one who on kept on pushing
Til I made you leave
It seems your pride has been stolen
Since you stood up to me
I'll tell you now you know I think
I Really like it
So learn a lesson from someone
Who will never repeat the many
Tragic mistakes of her past
I hope you savor this moment
As you're still on your feet
So keep it quiet now
I think you're gonna like it
Words have consequences when
They're spoken to me
You better be careful when you're writing checks
Don't you question how
I stand above you
Now you know the answer
Save yourself from danger
I cannot forget how all of this began
I know you know the answers
Save yourself from danger
Beaten by a stranger
Blood still on his hands
Dream this moment as I run away
You will only separate me from all that I believe
Dream this moment for eternity- you're the one one who kept on pushing
Till I made you leave

Not just a pub in Dublin. . .

Sigh- had a frustrating day. . .but in a good way, does that make sense?

So, another draft of my prelim. . and what I thought was talk of a meeting with the rest of my committee. . .ummm nope, knob that I am!

I was supposed to let them know that I was going to give them my reading lists. . .OH SNAP!

So, a frantic e mailed correction later and. . .viola. . .I look like an ass. . .yay!

Sigh- then, I have to run home to get Precious home and quick run into the store. . .20 something CHILD. . .outside the store walking. . .I go running toward the door, literally, so I am not late for Precious. . .and he looks at my chest and says "nice knockers, for an old broad"

EXCUSE ME???

Said child must have seen something amiss and scary in my gaze. . .he beat a hasty retreat to his car. Wise move, I must say. . .

I am the knob. . .with . . .well, you get the point. . .grrrrrr

Monday, November 24, 2008

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Ramblings of a November woman

Nothing like a birthday to bring out the introspection. . .wait. . . what is "introspection" when it is no longer in. . .:)


But seriously- having a birthday is all it takes for people, well some, to think about things. . .take stock, and well, apart from New Year's resolutions. . .it is a much more personal focus- here it is the anniversary of your birth. . .what have YOU done for the world?

Well, hmmm, what HAVE I done? What have I NOT done. . .I guess this year, I can say a few different things than before;

I have learned that parenting now is really not any different than before. . .odd, but I just never realized how much was on me. . .and how much was not. I refrain from stooping to a level unbecoming an academic, for the kids, but well you get the point. . .the whole "you are on your own. . .well, not a big difference from before.

I learned that I am the wrong kind of feminist this year- that to not savage someone personally for their political/ differences, to demand verification, and the refusal to blithely pass along lies via reflector e mail/listservs can cost you friends. . .and a lot more. Someone from school wants to read this, before I would have had no problem, but now? I am seriously afraid to let them. . .sad, but true. I have no other outlet for these things, the blog as personal refuge for this mom, and I am not sure what I will do. . .but I resent like hell that I am feeling bad in the first place. Damn, guess I have not come that far along. . .

I realized that I will always be Rainmom, that Precious will always have the autism issue, and so long as he has it, so will I- oh, that school situation? Demands a post of its own. . .with the Coparent. . .from Napa Valley. . .comes from grapes. . .in a glass. . .:)


I learned that as much as I miss my parents, I never really knew them as well as my kids know me. They have a really different parenting structure than I had, not sure if that is bad or good- but nevertheless- as much as I miss my parents, I missed the chance to ever really grow old with them. My dad has been dead for almost 15 years- and I was 15 years too late to try to not only understand him, but to know him as well. . .I knew only so much about his life- I wish I could have the chance to sit down with him and really talk- as only someone as old as I am now can. . .I wish I could have had the chance to be an adult with my parents.

I wish my kids had more family- when I think about my upbringing, I remember the house swamped for all the holidays- and rooms crammed wall to wall with people. . .floors with sleeping bags, mattresses. . .the house stuffed to the top. My kids? We do not even have a core group of friends to hang out with- I wish we could have had more family for longer. . .Butter, Precious, and Cocoa do not remember their Bubbe, and non of my kids remember their Zaydie, my dad.

But, I also remember how I would wonder, especially as I got older, what it would be like to be a mom- and I can now say that being a mom is better and worse than I ever thought possible. Better in that you realize a lot of things as a parent that you never did before- like the fact that teaching and learning are life long, ongoing, and an endless source of amazement and fun. That anyone who says that life is boring is so TOTALLY not paying attention, and that kids know more than you do about certain things. . .whether they do or not. . .you just have to roll with it, hope for the best, and be on call for anything. . .which I now know is a perfect situation for this mom- I love every minute with the kids. . .just don't always have the best time. . .just being there is the important thing. . .does that make sense?

There are a TON of things I would change about my life- but they are all pretty cosmetic, I want to work out more, start going out and seeing people, have more of a social life. . .but those are all things that I can change when I want to. . .WHEN IT IS TIME.

Right now? I am content to raise my kids, finish my degree, scrap by, and remain. . .the Mother of all umbrellas.

Shalom- Shavoa Tov

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The End of All things. . .

Yummy!


Well, ok, the end of somethings. . .but well, who can resist a good LOTR quote? Certainly not me!


So- about the dissertation. . .good and bad, yin and yang, yay and nay. . .here goes;

The person I was hoping to have on my committee. . .who has said she was open, became closed over the time it took me to get ready to ask her. . .bummer, but Plan B is ok too, and will probably be a better option. . .that's what I keep telling myself anyway!


My printer died, and I am so broke I cannot pay attention. . .so, I am hoping that everyone who wants things from me is willing to print it out for me. . .my birthday is coming, but I am expecting presents that will hang on my frig, not buy a printer. . .:) I am guessing a LOT of turkey hands. . .and some leaves. . .my kids know how much I love fall!

FINALLY everyone is done being sick. . .AND we got the flu shots taken care of too. . .yay me! Dentist appointments next. . .man, going to the dentist sure has changed since I was a kid- I will post some of the pictures from the trip- the office is tricked out CRAZY!!

Here under the umbrella- we are holding our own- hope you all are doing the same!

Monday, November 17, 2008

^%&%$ Disney!


The REAL story is 'unhappily ever after?'
Sigh, maybe, but this poster is a blues chaser for sure! Winter's cold turned to snow today-
Kids- Over the top crazy excited to see it
Me- Supportive and nurturing to the excited kids. . .on the outside. Dreading slippery roads, 2 lane highways, and suicidal deer. . .
Being a grown up
Blessing and curse!
Rock ON Monday!!! :)

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Polar Opposites. . .I know


one is North Pole, one is South. . .and bad, bad, BAD PhotoShop. . .but I laughed my fool head off with this one. . .

Reflections and Good Thoughts


Off the Boston Harbor- Salem Ferry
I hope the time has now come to move on, for me anyway, and continue to work toward goals locally, nationally and globally.
Having finally outed myself on matters political and social, and grateful to those who will still call themselves my friends- I hope that everyone can go from here with a bit more understanding and acceptance, myself included.
Time will tell, of course, but the lessons learned, along with the lessons yet to come, make it all worthwhile.
Thanks to all of you who are on this jouney with my family and I. . .the ride is that much better with you all here.
Shalom, Chaverim!

Fire Storm for the Rainmom


Crushing defeat, abject horror, and an impending sense of doom and the stench of failure. . .ok, not that bad, but GOTTENYU, I am tired!! I am getting about 3 hours of sleep a night- with a few all nighters already into the mix. . .I am hoping to get "away" from it all soon- but we will see, I have had NO help in the parenting department since this summer. . .burnout!!!
About school;
The prelim path is going very well- now at the stage where I am ready to get documents, namely my reading lists, to the proper people, for the purpose of getting my questions. . .and then. . .oh then sweeeeeeet archival research if I pass them!!! I am practically drooling over the whole idea of 2 archives to delve into. . . but of COURSE Box 53 from the Sinai Collection will be my first love. . .:)
Another "bake ahead" day tomorrow- I will try to get pictures. On the menu for the week; Meatballs in tomato and also in brown sauce over whole grain noodles, Chicken "mess" a huge favorite, and lasagna, veggie "meat" and gooey cheese. . .yum!
Baked goods include apple and cherry pies, 4 whole wheat loaves of bread, rolls, and of COURSE brownies!
Love how the house smells on Sunday nights!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

The other side of the 60s


So- in conversations and in e mails, and in hate mail and in all sorts of ways, some people have been asking me, in various forms, and with vast differences in approach and content-


WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU THIS ELECTION?????????


I wish there was another way of explaining this to people- but there is not- the answers my friends, are blowing in the winds of change- so here is the 'reason'


I am a 2nd generation American on my dad's side. His mother came here at 17, and my dad was the first son of the family born in America, and was the model assimilated American. . . to a degree, he was very committed to being a good Jew, but to be a good American, was a key goal, and my siblings and I were raised with that reverence and respect for this country held by people like my dad.


Also, with that experience, my Savta had first hand memories of pogroms, violence against Jews in her homeland, the Ukraine and those stories were not science fiction, not in a galaxy far far away, they were my family's recent history. Google Jews in the Ukraine. . .if you dare.


My dad grew up on the other side of the 60s- the side that so many people tend to revile almost automatically, and demonize as well. My dad fought 2 tours, voluntarily, in Viet Nam as a proud member of the USMC. He learned English, he worked hard, he taught my siblings and I about hard work, sacrifice, hard knocks, and the importance of freedom for all, even those who disagreed with you, but also was thankful for the protection of those rights for everyone, even Jews like his family. Such a far cry from the stereotype Jew ala Seinfeld or Crystal, Spielberg. . .my dad's life story is the stuff Spielberg would write about. . .if he knew about it.
Anyhow-


He taught me to be honest, generous, and he did all of this despite the havoc his mental condition wreaked on our family life. I used to concentrate on all of the things he did wrong, this election showed me what he did right. He stood up for what he believed in, he did not care what people said about him, as long as it was the truth, and his ENTIRE life was spent trying to do his country proud, because he appreciated what a great place America is and was- despite the flaws, and imperfections.
So, to this election- I had really had about enough. I had been encouraged early on to pursue a degree in Sociology by a few of my professors. I thought it would be a great field to explore as well as one that would be open to a vast diversity of ideas and members. Multiculturalism was a very intriguing idea, and I thought that after a lifetime spent in search of an environment where a Midwest born, observant, intermarried, Zionist Jewish mother with the goal of tikkun olam, repairing the world, I had finally found a place where I belonged. . .
Not-
Quite the opposite. My gender was still an issue, when the biggest slacker in my cohort was excused from open house for his D.J. gig and I was told that my "lack of child care was not a valid reason for avoiding my contractual obligations" (yes, Laura, I am STILL bitter- even more so!) I knew that this was not really a brave new world I was entering.
When people would come to me and say "I just do not know HOW you do it" and when they would see that I did better in classes than they did, and mutter to each other about how I was getting breaks for being a mom- when people would look at me and say "well, if YOU can do this school thing, I sure can" and say it often, well, I knew I was still in the same old same old. . .
My religion was not REALLY problem. . .my observance kind of was (most, if not all workshops, conferences, forums etc. held on Saturdays) and well the Zionism? Huge problem. . .unless I was willing to "admit that Israel was to blame". . .which I was not ( I do not buy the "victim hood" status of Hamas and Hiz b' Alla) and so on.
I was shocked at the situation I entered- realized that in order to survive I would have to pretty much keep things like my belief certain things on the down low. And for the most part it was pretty easy to do that, as nothing really got me too angry. . .until the election 2008 disaster.
I will say this right off- I do not give a SHIT what you think about Palin as PERSON. . . NO ONE has the right to do what was done to this woman in this election, period.
What ever do I mean??? This is what I MEAN- the mass e mailed lies and invented "breaking news" the use of the word cunt, the hanging of her effigy from a house, the sexist questions about her clothes, her motherhood issues. . .and the worst? That academics I know and who I sat with in classes, that routinely bemoan the lack of substance or research in their students papers were at the HEAD OF THE PACK on this. . .and it was a real eye opener. That you disagreed with her POLITICALLY was one thing, and there were many debates that could have kept it civil, and on task- but that is not how it went, and the cheering jeering mob attacks on her family, including a Down Syndrome infant were the epitome of hypocracy and an epiphany of sorts. I had assumed that I was an equal in the cohort, in the field, even if I disagreed. It was a shock to discover that equality may have been a myth all along for people like me. . .I will not join a movement to "turn the tables" on a group of people demonized for decades, I will not join the witch hunt.
The kicker- If Obama was in a class of mine, and he handed in his C.V. for grad school and it looked like his campaign- he would not have gone anywhere, period. There would have been no chance in hell of getting into school, of any kind, yet he got the presidency. No transcripts, no LSATS, no previous writing samples, nothing for admission to a college, no way would he get a spot in a freshman class, or a job anywhere. . . .except the Oval Office. After 8 years of attacking someone for being a "stupid, clueless evil monster" we have now elected an intellectual enigma. . .the man behind the curtain remains to be seen, but his friends are sure scary to this Jewish mom. The concentration camp nightmares I had as a child have returned- only now, my children and I are there. . .and I face my greatest fear- the "I do not know WHAT I would have done during the Shoah" question comes to my dreams every night for answers. Nightmares of my father. . .and his family. I am unsure why this has happened, maybe the blind faith and the complete lack of reality checks about Obama- and the behavior of some of his supporters, the questions about his ties to Ayers, secert talks with Hamas, and his weak support of Israel. . .who knows? It is there now- these dreams of being with my children in the camps, and the terror that wakes me up night after night. . .
In addition, his relationships with Ayers and Wright, and the way that people asking questions about his record were wantonly labeled "racist" was a deal killer. The label of "racist" is a stigma of the most vile kind when used as a way of shutting down a debate or discussion. . .this is what happened to me this election.
I was raised by parents on the other side of the 60s, and this election revealed the cracks in the facade of "tolerance"- screw tolerance. From now on, I want equality and acceptance, even if you do not approve of me. I have the right to be who I am, as much as anyone.
That is what happened to me this election- I stopped pretending that it was ok for me to be tolerated- it is time for acceptance. If that is what this election was supposed to be about, that should be no problem. . .as I have vowed to accept the results of this election, period.
So, long story long, but maybe the hate mail will stop. . .now that I have explained it all.





Color me SURPRISED!!




http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081113/ap_en_tv/palin_hoax


How about that? The story was not vetted, was a fake, and was broadcast unquestioned and well, you see the result. . .thank GOODNESS they did not lie about someone popular with the press. . .oh, wait. . .


Look who is popping up now that the election is over;

http://www.abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=6243589


Yep, Ayers will now take your questions. . .oh, and here is one that is already answered about his relationship with Obama;

http://www.suntimes.com/news/politics/obama/1278532,bill-ayers-barack-obama-book-111308.article

Ok try to keep up with the spin doctor treatment; over the course of the election Ayers went from "some guy who did some bad things when I was 8" to "some guy in my neighborhood" to "some guy I served on a board with" and with the election over Ayers is now saying;

"We had served together on the board of a foundation, knew one another as neighbors and family friends, held an initial fund-raiser at my house, where I’d made a small donation to his earliest political campaign"


Change!!!

November Rain

Wow- how can this semester be going by so fast!? I am amazed. . .really!


So, the prelim thing is chugging right along, and I am hoping to have big BIG nws to report soon. . .:)


On the homefront-


KIA is well, doing great, and I am glad


Muffin is STILL struggling with many issues, that sadly, I cannot do much about, except offer encouragment, and advice.

Butter is having a GREAT year, by contrast. . . Math skills competition, violin lessons, and making friends. . .he is really growing up this year!


Precious- well, there will be a whole post on the latest drama, I think we have found common ground and respect issues have no been dealt with, so I am sure things will look up, but the path to that place SUCKED. . .


Cocoa- She is also having a break out year! Reading at a 3rd grade level, math at a . . .ready. . .4th grade level. . .they have already started her on advanced math, and she realy seems to love it. I guess the days of "girls just are not good at math" are gone!

Packers- killing me

Bucks- SO killing me

Brewers- C.C. I never got to see ya play! Damn it!

Oh well :)

Overall, things continue on- some really, hmmm, how can I put this, how about "unkind ramifications" of a failing economy have crept even closer to our home. . .and I am looking for ANOTHER part time job to meet the needs of the family!

But, hey, it will be swell, and I will hopefully have awesome news soon about school!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Danny, Jonah, and Dad. . .


Stay safe, Danny and Jonah USMC and USN on active duty, I am one proud sister today and everyday.
Dad, z'l, remembering you today, and your distinguished service in Viet Nam.
G-d Bless America.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Remember Remember the 9th of November




Remember Remember the 9th of November,
The genocidal Nazi National plot

I can think of no reason

Humanity's treason should ever be forgot. . .

Dayan emes. . .

Another week begins. . .


Like water and foam in a stream- over the waterfall
My ambition and my strength meld and dissolve
Until November's early winds turn water to ice, and uncertanity to icy resolve.
- The November Woman
I am ready to form my committee. . .I am now ready to sign up for my prelim exam.
I am ready.

The NEW audacity

IS Audacity!!!

http://cjonline.com/stories/110908/loc_353922770.shtml


So forget about all this "Office of the President elect" crap. . .oh you did not hear? There IS NO OFFICE IN THE GOVERNMENT for the "elect" this is a complete fabrication on the Obama camp's part. . .no such thing- but forget about that;

A national holiday???? Why?? What the hell has he done? Not a single thing- unless you count the URGENT way he warned people who voted for him on Tuesday that they should lower their expectations. . .that is wasn't gonna happen overnight. . .that is a different tune he should have been playing all along, but hey it is done.

So, a national holiday for him. . .for what again? Note to Obama Camp- there already IS a national holiday for presidents. . .it is called PRESIDENT'S DAY!

Niiiiice-

Almost as great as the way McCain staffers, with the waters chumed by weeks of Palin Hate, have now went on record. . .well anonymously, to deride Palin and blame her for the loss. . .really. . .no really. . .everyone will believe it. . .the cunt did it, we have to tee shirts to prove it!

Oh, but I digress, there HAS been change already over at the office of the President elect's ego. . .here it is;

http://gatewaypundit.blogspot.com/2008/11/hah-obamas-changegov-caught-changing.html

So it begins. . .sounds a lot like politics as usual, bait and switch. . .but hey, I didn't vote for him. . .

Friday, November 7, 2008

Shabbat Shalom



Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam Asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'zivanu l'hadlik ner shel Shabbat
Blessed are You, Eternal our God, Sovereign of time and space. You hallow us with Your mitzvot and command us to kindle the lights of Shabbat.
G-d help this country survive. . .intact and strong, Amen
As it has been said before;
Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.
— Voltaire
Scary new world. . .

Battle lines drawn

Sent today;

I am planning to starting my observations at PR next week Tuesday, I plan on arriving at about 10am. I will return on Thursday, for an afternoon visit.
I have notified the office that I will need a visitor's pass for Tuesday. Thanks again for the time you took to respond to my e mails. I am hoping that these visits will restore my confidence in the current situation at PR, with all of the staff changes going on, and the missed meeting on my part. I am hoping that all will go well.
Again, thanks for all you have done on my son's behalf. Have a nice weekend.
See you Tuesday.


Let this be a lesson to you; if they had called to let me know about this apparently "no big deal" "brainstorming session". . .NONE OF THIS would be necessary! Ounce of prevention. . .

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Cry HAVOC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So it begins.

In the election meshugganae, the silent until now battle on the Rainmom vs. School front has raged- here is the most recent e mail war, posted in their entirety;

From the school-

Hey Rainmom!
Tim and I have been chatting about when we could all meet for Precious's conference in the beginning of December... Are there any dates/days of the week that you cannot attend? We will try to schedule it so the as many people involved with Precious can attend but I can’t promise you a rose garden-ha! I believe that this is how we did Precious’ conferences in the past and with my current schedule for conferences is booked so solid that I don’t even have any back-back blocks left...I just think this is the way to get the most people at one meeting...I’m not picking on Precious or anything but the logistics of schedules kind of require this-sorry.Start thinking of some dates/times and like I said, Tim will be getting in touch with you.

Thanks!
A

So I replied;

Well, I would counter this request by saying that I am planning to observe him at school and make this more of an evaluation than a conference. I plan on coming next week to see how his day goes, and I am planning on taking notes and sharing.I am noting ANOTHER staff change in his future, and I am REALLY disgusted STILL about the meeting you had without contacting me until after the fact, and I am wondering just how much he is being challenged, and how much he is being coddled and whether or not things from May got lost along the way. . .I am worried that all this "start from the beginning" with brand new staff every month is affecting his education, and I have NEVER questioned that before, so of course I am worried. . .because when things start to go wrong, it seems then I am expected to fix everything, come up with magic solutions, because it is something wrong with my son, and autism, NOT any of the musical staff changes and such- yes, I have hit the bottom of my patience mine. . .I am unwilling and unable to continue as it is now. . .until I see for myself how he is doing in his learning environment.So, please expect me in next week in order to evaluate your interactions with my son, only then will I schedule a meeting, after I have evaluated his educational environment.Yes, I am slowly losing faith in the IEP/special ed "process" at PR. With all eyes on my son and his behavior, I need to concentrate my gaze on his school.I am sure you understand.

She then replied;

Staffing is quite fluid, isn't it?! I am not sure what it is that goes on here but I too would be excessively frustrated with this situation as a parent; it too is frustrating as a staff member. On an up note, Precious mornings are quite consistent as he is with Deb ., myself, and Joan . and his morning schedule pretty much is set in stone unless wacky things come up like the testing or such. Both EAs are wonderfully patient and very consistent with Precious as they have both worked with him for several years now and know how to nip potential issues in the bud before they turn into something bigger.

Regarding the previous meeting...there was absolutely nothing secretive about attendees but rather it was used as a brainstorming session. All the people working with Precious felt that we needed to regroup and figure out why this school year hasn't been flowing as smoothly as last year. Precious's goal sheet/reward sheet/ checklist thingy (the one where he completes X amount of activities to work towards a goal he chooses such as computers, swing time, etc...) was slightly changed from 2nd grade to compensate for 3rd grade (I believe this change was in his IEP but don't' quote me on this) and it obviously was not working for anyone, Precious included. The results of the meeting were that a) everyone was using the goal sheet the same way, and correctly, b) it was obviously NOT working, and c) it was time to return to the 2nd grade goal sheet used last year. Since that meeting, we returned to last year's plan and things are going much more smoothly for everyone involved!

Sounds good for meeting up after your observations...we had picked beginning of December simply because conferences were over here, Thanksgiving week was done, testing was done in our classroom, Spec Ed schedules were back to normal following testing, etc... so whenever it works for you is fine with us.

I feel your frustration with how things are currently going but do know that everyone is trying to figure out what will work best for Precious and our classroom environment. If it seems that people are expecting a fix from you, I apologize, but also realize that things aren't going as calmly with Precious in school this year and we are just trying to adjust to and accommodate these changes with him. There is a big jump from 2nd to 3rd grade (for all kids, regardless if they have an IEP or not) regarding expected independence, level of academic challenge, etc... and some kids struggle more with it than others; Precious, I feel, is really having a hard time with this transition from last year to this year with academic expectations. The work Precious is to complete is challenging and based on IEP goals, but not such that it is setting him up to struggle or fail. My personal observations are that when Precious is non-compliant (for lack of a better word) in class in the morning, it is usually when he does not want to do the required academic work.

Without getting into a novel here, I just wanted to let you know that I understand your concerns but want you to know that the staff here really is trying to make changes for everyone's benefit, which have been happening both successfully and unsuccessfully.

Thank you for so freely sharing your concerns with me..

A

And this missive was just fired across their bow. . .

Fluid? Yes, that is a good word. . .And well, as you know by now, Precious is a very smart kid. I guess my main concern is that he is acting out to get out of meeting the new challenges you are giving him-and that would be a grave mistake. I am concerned that he is being disruptive with the goal to leave the class, and if he is taken out, he will see the act of disrupting the class as a means to his desired ends. But you probably already know this- do the several new members of his team understand this? I am not convinced, and I will not be patronized to believe something my own eyes see as false, these new staff members are not the whole problem, but they do not help. I question their KNOWLEDGE dealing with my son, not their kindness to him. As I have said over and over and OVER again, kindness is not the most important part of his IEP- firmness and high expectations for his progress should be at the top of the list.About that meeting; Tim made it clear that this meeting was called to address behavior issues. . .that were NOT reported to me in detail. In addition, I was contacted AFTER the fact, when you had all weighed in on "why is he acting out so much. . ." and only after the meeting did it occur to anyone to contact me.
Pardon my French, but that is just plain B.S. period.I have jumped through every hoop the state, the school system, and your team has asked me to, like some sort of poodle. I have contributed to every IEP and thought we were taking a team approach to make sure Precious best interests were kept in mind, and that consistency was being maintained. . .but when he struggled, you all excluded me, and only after you had no other real concrete reason for his behavior, other than the check sheet, did you contact me for the magic trick to tame his behavior.It was disrespectful, it was hurtful, and it damaged the trust I had in the relationship between the school and my family. I made my disapproval know to Tim at the time, and clearly, I remain very bitter about that- and the constant parade of unknown people working with my son at any given time. I do not believe for a moment that these new people are up to speed with how clever and smart my child is- not when baby talk messages about his tee shirts and how well he is doing at being "the line leader, oh wow" show up on those sheets. I literally cringe at the baby talk and the obvious perception that my son is doing so well. . .considering his condition. This attitude is unacceptable. He is child with autism, not just autistic, he is smart, and he is capable of doing a lot, I will not allow the parade of new staff destroy his chances at a good education because they expect so little for him. Those stickers show up on his shirt, and yet there will be notes about "rough spots" and other vague references. . . And yet not a single mention of the new glasses he has been wearing for a week. Frustrated doesn't begin to describe how I am feeling right now- I thought we had a team approach going, and it was quite shocking to be out of the loop. I was completely above board with the PR staff, and you excluded me, I am sorry that you made that decision.While I appreciate the time you took to respond, it seems that the relationship I thought I had with the staff and thought I could count on and trust with my Precious is not in keeping with the reality. Despite your reassurances, I cannot accept on faith that you did not "mean anything" by excluding me, you did not do so because you did not feel it necessary- and that is unacceptable, period. End of story. I will not have that repeated, ever again.I regret the loss of trust and respect, I put a lot into my relationship with you all, worked hard to contribute to the team, trying hard to hold up my end of the parent/teacher partnership. My faith has been shaken. And if you really understood who I am, and how I view my role as my son's parent, and if a single one of you took the time to realize that my son is my child, not a problem to be solved by you, then you would be apologizing and attempting to repair the damage, not trying to convince me it was no big deal excluding me.

See you next week.

The moral of the story, boys and girls?

DO NOT MESS WITH RAINMOM'S CUBS!!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Dear Cocoa

So, as you are about to celebrate another birthday, I wanted to take a moment and talk about this last election.

Right now, giddy people are breaking their arms patting themselves on the back about what this "means" for certain social issues, and that is their right. I voted for the person who I thought would be the best president, I did not vote as some sort of statement on how "far" we have come on anything. . .but I digress.

See, Cocoa, there were 2 women in this race, on both sides, and the fact that their experiences are ignored shows that we did not really get that "far" at all. And while I will not rain on the referendum on race/election. . .I have to tell you this;

Already, at this age, you are so willful, and you want to help people. You have a temper, you have a toughness, and you have so many of the traits I have as well, and well, this world has not really changed for you in this election, it has actually taken a huge step backwards.

We elected the Senator who pays his female employees 78% of what he pays his male employees, not the one who pays them equally.

We demonized and vilified a woman in the most personal and appalling way, calling her a cunt, which is a really horrible name to call a woman, I'll have to tell you about that someday, I guess, because this election made it ok to use such terms about a woman who leads a state, but the wrong kind of state, too backward, and THAT made it ok to call her that word, and many women made up tee shirts in order to get the word out, they e mailed fabricated "breaking news" and refused to retract any of them, and drew the line between a woman's right to freely choose, and her right to choose correctly

This election made it ok to question women about their gendered lives, using patriarcial rules and made questions about "how they could possibly do it all AND lead" and "can you lead when you should be home with your Down Syndrome child" acceptable again. This election saw the return of the weaker sex negative stereotype, the empty headed blue collar woman stereotype, and the complete and utter open season on women who want to define themselves while seeking paths of leadership in the political realm. And it was aided and abetted by the very same people that see this election as some sort of moral victory. . .ironic, this sounds a lot like business as usual than change, must be a different KIND of change . . . .

So, Cocoa, as you get older and older, and as I have to tell you more and more about how you will be evaluated 'differently,' paid differently and how your personality, and face it, your socialization at my hands will make you the kind of woman who will be SAVAGED because of that toughness I am teaching you, I will continue to try to make this a world in which we, as a society, put aside gender inequality and truly become egalitarian. . .for all, even us, the November Women.

So, Cocoa, we have a long fight ahead of us, I'll go first, ok?



Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I bet the C--t shirts did it. . .

That was the ticket.

So, Mazel tov, America, you have just elected . . . who is this guy? Oh, yeah, Hope and Change, that's right.

I do not hold any ill will, and bowing to the wisdom of those who elected him, I vow to take my cue on how to behave from the ever so tolerant Left toward people I disagree with. . .

and I will treat their president with the same level of respect and diginty they themselves have shown to those they disagree with. . .with the same, if not increased intensity.

Glad it's over, fear it beginning.

I am Bridget Bishop

I am a fallen woman from the hinterland. . .jealousy surrounds me. . . .


I will continue to speak out on the rights of heterosexual and other women and their issues. . . in tandem with other feminist issues. . . BUT will not support the wanton attacks on women who do not agree with other women, I will not allow this movement to become hegemony. . . personal- political bring your A game and your FACTS. . .

I am a proud breeder. . .you will not sway me, and why is that NOT ok, given the freedom aspect?

I am proud

I am persecuted

I am Change. . .

Sunday, November 2, 2008

I am John Proctor


I am John Proctor, no matter what happens in the election. In the push for "change" it has become less and less clear what kind of "change" will be put in place if the Dear Leader Obama wins, but no matter what happens, I will not be swayed from my objective; I will be John Proctor.


No matter who gets elected, the path to new leadership will not be easy and dappled with pools of soft sunlight on flowers. If Dear Leader wins, the country will be at the brink of establishing a government system that most of our ancestors left en masse- including mine. The troubling similarities between stories my father told me and the behavior of my so called "friends" regarding my opposition to the one are scary beyond belief. I am against any change that puts the government in charge of my life to the extent that I cannot live my life without interference and redistribution. They that rule over the means of production rule all. . .and it boggles the mind that people who claim to not trust the government with anything are voting to do just that, trust them with the economy, and forfeit their right to choose especially in light of the Dear Leader's friends and associates, and complete lack of disclosure on so many fronts.


If Dear Leader loses, it will be several months, if not years, of tantrums and accusations, charges of racism and theft. . . setting up dissent as racist, rather than a freedom afforded to us, so either way, a pledge seems to be in order, and here is mine;
I am a proud person, a hard working person, and I am a fighter. I will not go quietly into any night, and I will, come hell or high water, fight for the basic principles and values of the United States of America. I will not throw America out with the bathwater, I will work toward justice, but not revolution, because I believe in the basic good of this society.


I am John Proctor no matter what happens. Taking my cue from his actions, among others in 1692, I vow to fight against the mass hysteria that has poisoned the actions of humans beings for several hundred years after his time- I will not allow his actions to go unnoticed.

Through hysteria and vengeful accusations, I will not be swayed from the core beliefs of my country, I will demand those rights, and I will expect life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness as my due. I will NOT allow any one group or person to take those rights away from me.

I will question everyone, I will take nothing on faith, and no matter the outcome, I will not be cowed by scare tactics, aggression, nor be intimidated for speaking my mind. I will study and learn the most detailed parts of the Bill of Rights, and the Constitution, as is my duty as an American, and hold my government to those standards, and fight to my last breath, any and all attempts to remove one iota of my freedom from me. Fairness Doctrine be damned for the perversion of freedom it is, and all who support freedom of. . .the right kind of. . . speech. . .

I will fight for my country, because my country makes me who I am, free. If we lose that freedom to change for change's sake, may G-d have mercy on us all.